Still very neurotic, but at least I am home. Hunter says she still doesn’t think she can give me what I want, and that is why she wants me to go and find someone else. She says she isn’t cheating, but I’m still not convinced. I am trying to let it ride. If she is at least when it comes out everyone will know she is to blame. Not that it would help me with my heart break. I honestly think with some work and effort she will become more in tune with me and what I want will be something that will be more generous than she will get someplace else. She and my sister seem to be on the same page – that there is someone else out there better for me. It’s funny – two weeks ago I didn’t even think about whether she loved me or not. We were both miserable with each other and trapped. She left a long time ago since that was easier than fighting for the marriage. I figured it out and now want more. Maybe its my mid-life crisis or that she will never figure out the truth – love is what you make it. She doesn’t think you can create it from within.
Otherwise, I checked out the gym and will try it tomorrow. I setup my time with Brian for tomorrow. I started wearing my retainer to straighten the teeth, and cleaned up the hair. I am guessing I will be close to 232.5 tomorrow (down 10 from 6/30). I feel that things are going to go well with the weight loss and personal health issues.
My manager is in ICU so we need to hire someone asap. My partner is on board but Mike is baulking now. Its all about money to them without any idea of how stupid it is that they keep hiring audit guys but we are in desperate need of tax people.
My sister is super supportive – I owe her a lot.