So far so good, but it is 6:30 am. It has been a while since I last wrote, so I thought I would take this opportunity of quiet to talk about the last week or so.
Last Monday July 22nd Hunter had a complete meltdown. Around 7:30 she checked her phone and there was a problem with the tax provision slides she sent to the audit committee. Needless to say she lost it. Son was already arguing with her about reading a story and she wouldn’t until he was nice, then she took a break and got the voice mails. She started yelling and screaming at everyone and no one. “No wonder I screwed up with everything going on her”. “My stupid husband.” “My fucked up son” etc. I tried to help and talk to her but she told me to “leave her the fuck alone,” and to “make sure she doesn’t hear anything from those fucking kids.”
She told me several times to “duct tape his mouth shut ’cause if I hear a word out of him I’m going to kill him.” I ended up staying upstairs in the hallway keeping watch over the kids and texting my sister. She eventually calmed down since it only took 20 minutes to fix, but she was crying uncontrollably after her yelling at me so it took a while before she could gain the composure to call the people at QCOM and fix the issue.
Tuesday I got El Polo Loco for dinner and Daughter spilled a couple of beans on the chair, and I could see Hunter was about to loose it. She eventually took her upstairs for bath. A few minutes later daughter is screaming for help and her mom. I go upstairs to find daughter locked in her room and Hunter sleeping on the bed. All this before 7pm. She said she had a headache, but I know it was more of a meltdown.
Sunday we went to counseling and she didn’t do the homework. She wanted to change “her husband,” and “her son” but stated that that would change the family. There was nothing she would do to make things better. She also indicates that she was no longer interested in keeping the kids in a divorce. Kathy called her out on her anger and asked if she wanted to work on that separately since it would ruin the marriage. Kathy asked if she wanted to see her separately so that she could heal or if she was happy being miserable and unhappy. Her response was she didn’t know and she didn’t think she would want to.
Monday (yesterday) I caught her in a lie about doing the memory a week. She hadn’t done it, and I called her out. She denied it and said she would bring it home from work. When I was walking away she said under her breath that “great another thing I had to do today” or something to that effect. I called her out on it and she started crying about how it was another thing she was failing at. I don’t think she realizes that she is a failure no matter how much money she earns because she doesn’t love herself and therefore cannot love anyone else.
I don’t think this is going to last too long anymore. Even if we had sex Monday. It was typically lousy and she was uncomfortable with me looking at her naked or touching her. She would kind of giggle when she was touched.
Time for a new job down here and to retool my life to take care of my kids if she abandons everyone.