Spent the morning with Son playing Wii (bowling and tennis). Met with Lesa and talked about the case. After lunch I went with Hunter and met with her two attorneys for mediation.
The first one was so biased to give Hunter 100% of both children I am sure Hunter prepped her before the meeting. Without promoting she said that because Son has Aspergers that Hunter should get the house, Son 100%, and daughter because he has bonded with her more than me. All of this without even meeting the children, or what was in the best interest of daughter. Then she had the audacity to say that Hunter would make a better parent than me because Son bonded better with her. This is the same Hunter that calls her son a retard.
The second attorney didn’t want to mediate he wanted one of us to hire him and then work with us. I am not sure how that would be ethical since I (the non-hiring and non-represented party) would be relying on the attorney that rents space to review the documents on my behalf for a nominal fee. All in the interest of saving money.
After that I hung out with Son and Debbie and then picked up daughter.
When Hunter came home I spoke with her outside and told her I didn’t think mediation would work based on today. She asked if it was because we are so far apart in the kids. I said yes, but mainly because I didn’t know where she was at with the kids. I asked her to write down her ideas and she said she would not write down anything since it would be considered “a negotiated deal.” I don’t know who told her that but I am guessing that she made it up since there is nothing in common law that states that.
Obviously she is not on the level if she is not willing to work on the issue. Then she started talking about not willing to pay spousal support and I should pay child support and I again reiterating that I am only taking about time not money. Then she accused me of bringing it up at the attorneys office, and again I reiterated that she brought it up not me. I talk about time with my kids and she speaks about money. It’s all about the money with her, and like her lies and deceit, she is hoping that she can make it quietly go away and get exactly what she wants. I don’t think she realizes that I am not in love with her anymore and want to take care of myself and the kids. She just wants to win and to her that is money and kids. Then she brings up her father and her mom and blah, blah, blah. Always attempting to side track the conversation from the subject she does not want to deal with.
After letting her know that if we are not close together on this issue that I will file for divorce next week and take it to court. I know we will eventually settle, as more than 90% do, but she doesn’t want to pay the attorneys. I am at the point that I will pay what I need to stay in my children’s life and she will not because she wants the money more than the kids.
We also came up with a “no texting in front of me rule” since she hates it when I text as she assumes I am calling her names.
We will see what she has to say tomorrow night…not in writing…but I can take notes to analyze. I told her, like she did to me, she should expect me to reject it. Hopefully, we are close enough that we can work out the details.
I also think she wants mediation because the attorney she met yesterday told her that if we don’t go to court we don’t have to worry about the child/spousal support calculations. We can do what we want. Obviously, she thinks that I am cheap and willing to settle on something as long as I don’t pay the attorneys which is what I have been saying all along. Of course the courts rely solely on the calculations for child support and most get close to the spousal supports. Not that I want to do that, but I am not going to lose my children just so she doesn’t have to come out do pocket on her multi-million dollar QCOM retirement. If she really felt bad for what she has done to me, Chris, Patrick, Holli, and everyone else she would start thinking less about money and more about people.
Unfortunately, she misinterpreted my statement. All of that was predicated on an equal split of time with the kids and utilizing the support calculations neither of which she is willing to do.
I hope she doesn’t make too many waves. I have enough evidence of breaking things, lying, yelling, and harassment that I am sure I could get her anger and violent nature in court to keep the kids away from her. It’s not what I want as I think she will be calmer without both children everyday, but she should not rely on my nice nature and her perception that I love her blind her. Maybe this time I am not the one blinded by a false impression of who the other person is.
The rest of the night went smoothly as normal. Dinner, bath, books, and a little hockey (Ducks got hammered by Dallas although I didn’t get to watch the end of the game) and Sheldon for daughter while Son drew and Hunter cooked for Thanksgiving. It was like old times with the exception that I know she is capable of any mindset as long as she thinks it will get her what she wants.
The real question is why does she want the kids as she doesn’t like daughter at all and thinks Son is a retard. I guess if you have no friends and no one in your family respects you, then trapping your children to be your only friends is all you have. Especially since your blind husband now sees the truth about you and doesn’t want to even know you. Most people would not be as nice as me after what I know, but what should I do I need to save my children from her at least some time.