What a day and last night. What the fuck kind of human being cheats on her husband with a married man in Chicago, Vegas, Palm Springs (a couple of times) plus whatever she is not telling (although it doesn’t sound like that much more than that based on what she has said over the last few times she makes reference to it) she just became obsessed with him. She thinks so highly of him that created a fantasy world of him and her and their wonderful life together. I’m still blown away at the fact she emailed Holli that Chris was fucking her.
What a psycho…her dates are all over the map and she seems to have forgotten some details that the writings give light to but it has been 10 years. I think this is even worse than the pregnancy lie. At least that seems to be between him and her. The email (done as he was quitting PwC to get away from Hunter and months after the affair was over according to Hunter’s timeline) was just a vile and despicable thing just to ruin him and his marriage because he chose Holli. Let’s be honest if I had any clue what this psycho was doing I would have done the same thing. She is one very selfish and sick person. what a Fatal Attraction / Glenn Close not job.
We spoke at Starbucks this morning. We have a date set for 12/30 although I don’t know if I can live under the same roof as her that long. I will hope to figure it out in my head. Still thinking about just filing once we get agreement on custody. I am sure she would flip out but it might accelerate the process and allow me to get out and start healing. She is crazy as fuck. I’m just blown away at her arrogance and condensation.
– how could you cheat on me?
– I didn’t love you.
– why did you marry me?
– I thought I did at a time
What a nut job. Her writings say she loved me dearly – she just felt she never got the chance to be single. She missed those early days with Patrick in high school sitting on the grass and thinking you two were the only people in the world. What a school girl fantasy. Really – manager in big 4 and she wants to spend all day dreaming on the grass in love with someone who desired her. That’s why she fell for Chris – he was hunting her. How sad she has so little self worth that he needs someone to hunt her sexually to be filled with love. And what a loser Chris is (just like her dad) who prays on weak and emotionally unstable women for sexual gratification. Sad I got in the crosshairs.
I’m almost finished with the paperwork to send to Lesa to review. Not sure where things will end up but if we can get through custody and file ASAP I can speed things along. Need to also figure out the bills. Get rid of the automatics and make them paper payments. Getting close – just need to keep the mind in the right direction. Forward not back.
Hunter is sleeping in her bedroom. She’s “sick.” In guessing she is depressed about her life. As she told the counselor (Kathy) that first meeting – the only thing that would make this family better for her would be a different husband and a different son. It never dawns on her that the worst part of this marriage is her – her infidelity, her anger, her lies, her debasement and condescension of everyone around her. Like last night before we started fighting was her statement about how she is now convinced she is got to be one of the smartest people at QCOM since every in Int’l tax and her VP’s are all scared idiots and Jamie and her team doesn’t understand what the losers in Int’l tax don’t know anything. And don’t get her started on Susie or Steve (and his creepy perversions). Her hubris is as large as her morals are lacking.
Ben called this morning and we talked. He was shocked by what I found out last night – almost horrified. He is pretty sure I will end up with the kids or at least more time. My sister, dad also think the same thing.
I’m not sure. If she goes to hitting bottom with a series of one-night stands she will probably gravitate more towards needing the kids more. If she dates a single individual long-term than I am sure they will eventually end up with me.
Now I just need to stay cordial and distant. I need to record as much of her outbursts as possible for a future fight. I need her to buy off on the custody schedule. I need to start focusing on the future.
All this because I was awakened this summer. I’m not sure when or why or what it means but I can’t stay in this miserable marriage and I am pretty sure I could get this thing back to last year in 12 months if I wanted. Just stop talking about the past – keep making things easy for her and then fuck her every once in a while and she would be happy forever with the security an comfort. She still likes to talk shop and I am probably the only one she can talk to about it outside of work and that’s her connection to most people outside of sex.
First thing – let’s finish those schedules and get back on the fitness track. Bust out additional work time and then move the fuck out. Bitch got to make her bed after Chris cummed in it and I have to start seeing what is out in the world without her. Maybe there is a nice lady for me. She doesn’t have to be thin, just a pretty smile, a warm heart, and a fun loving attitude is all I need God. Help a brother out when you get a chance. Thanks!
Family dinner at Garcias. Came up and put the kids to bed then went to bed. No snuggle or hugs – good for me.