1/22/14 – She Doesn’t Need Help

So far so bad with Hunter today. Got up around 2am when daughter came in to sleep. Whenever she is treated badly she comes in my room in the middle of the night. The way Hunter and son are treating her she is going to end up a domestic violence addict – confusing abuse for love.

So I get up early and get out the house. I call Hunter and ask he to call me once she isn’t pissy and she doesn’t. She texts me her slightly rude instructions.

I get some work done – meet with a potential client then head out for my SCMS appointment and they are running late. I call Hunter and talk to her and tell her that leaving daughter alone in the bathroom in the shower in the dark was inappropriate. She gets all defensive and disrespectful – dismissing an going on about how she won’t discipline them at all. I tell we are all under pressure and we need to work together. She goes on about how I’m like Mike on the intl side – what are you trying to get out of this conversation. A sincere understanding that what you did was wrong and that we should be working together on the kids. She brings up son telling her I yell all the time. I politely reiterate that son tells me the same thing – that he doesn’t like you, doesn’t love you, hates you, how mean you are – and that he says the same things to her about me. She agrees. She finally just hangs up on me after telling me she isn’t going to talk to me the rest of the day. WTF I let her know that hanging up on me is inappropriate and that we need to talk (what assets can I take Friday / Saturday) so that there are no surprises.

I also asked her if she was seeing anyone for help with talking about things. She tells me it’s none of my business and she doesn’t ask me about. I tell her she already knows who I am talking to an that she needs help. She tells me she isn’t seeing anyone and is not going to ever. She doesn’t need help – she isn’t weak like me. When I get back to the office I look up the DSM criteria for BPD and she fits it to a t with the exception on alcoholism and cutting which she has moderated since Chris and started being a workaholic and dissociating during stress has increased since then.

Hunter is at the “PTA” meeting. I got the kids picked up, fed, bathed, read to, teeth brushed, and in bed without incident. Fuck her I am better at this than her. She is better at fucking strangers than me, cheating on people and giving them STD’s. I guess we all have our strong suit. I know it’s petty and bitchy to say these things, but I’m not perfect either.

Last night was interesting. After Hunter came home she tucked son in bed and went down stairs. After a few minutes I went downstairs to get a glass of water and she said hello in that sing-song way she says goodnight sometimes. Obviously she had calmed down and wanted someone to talk to. She is totally BPD. So she talked about the PTA. She said she didn’t drink but it certainly reminded me of her a little tipsy, but she did say she the host had wine and a few people were complaining about everyone. I didn’t get close enough to smell. Then she talked a little about work and setup her computer since she had more work to do. She didn’t ask me what I wanted to talk about in my text. I’m guessing she is putting off the inevitable. But I will need tvs, Blu-rays and floor lamps ASAP as well as a microwave. Plus all of the basics (paper plates, plastic utensils, paper towels, kitchen towels, pots / pans / baking sheets / kitchen stuff / condiments) which I am sure I will have to pay for) I guess I will start taking stuff Friday and Saturday.

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