2/15/14 – She Tells My Son He Can Sleep Outside and Never Have a Family

Trying to survive the lunacy at the park this afternoon. The day went well. Up at 5 lazy morning at the house by 8 for swim at the Y. Work afterwards while everyone is at the park, then baseball with Son. He hates carrying his own bag and complains all the way to the field. He does well the first half but gets upset when he doesn’t get to bat a second time (no one did).

I met Nick’s mom Micah. She should be in the OC. Pretty face, three kids, a Lexus and huge augmentation. She is probably 5′ 10″ so they match her height but DD’s are always a bit overwhelming. She is totally considerate and helpful when Son has his meltdown. She tells me Nick is 8.5, and should be in Mustang but they held him back so he could be better than other kids. Totally an OC thing.

When Son is watching a movie I home and work out. A little easier than before which is nice to see improvement.

After the workout we got to the park. I suggest we bring frisbees and the big hitter bat. Hunter only brings one, and the kids continues I fight and play poorly together with the Bouncer. I don’t think Hunter will ever come to grips with the way the kids have attached to us and is unwilling to let her go anymore knowing that daughter links me to her. I asked to let her leave with me to Orange County and she said no.

We hit the ball around and things are good until daughter wants to play and Hunter changes the game from him and I to her him and I then to her him I and daughter and that’s throws him into a fit. I take daughter to the truck for water and Son and Hunter are taking. When I turn around Son is screaming for a second chance. Hunter comes over and the two of them get into it. She wants an apology. He wants one from her but she (as always) refuses to apologize. Eventually she gets in the car and leaves him with me screaming and crying about wanting one more chance. Ten minutes later he tells mom he takes back his apology since she refuses to give one but gets in the car.

We go to Garcias and things are fine until it’s time for the lollipops and Son flips out right in front of the host station. Grabbing furniture kicking other guests screaming at the top of his lungs. Hunter takes daughter out and I have to pickup Son and take him outside. He walks away and is screaming about how he wants to die and doesn’t deserve a family. At six and he doesn’t want to live because he can’t control himself and feels horrible afterwards. I finally get him in a place I can get him in the truck but I still have to pick him up and belt him in. I yell a little – Hunter is flipping out. She eventually gets quiet and is crying a little. It was pretty embarrassing and it will be a month before we go back. Sons punishment for the unruly display.

We get home and Son decides he won’t come inside because he doesn’t deserve a family and Hunter tells him that’s fine he can’t sleep outside with the bugs because she is done with him and one day he isn’t going to have one. I send her in with daughter and get Son and bring him upstairs to his room. He yells and hits my fists a little (target practice – if I give him a target to hit he won’t actually hit me) and once he is calmer I go down stairs.

Once there Hunter comes up and shuts the door and starts screaming at the top of her lungs. I can’t make it out much since she turned the volume on the tv way up. After she comes down for a little while I go upstairs and hear Son crying in bed. I go in and talk to him. I let him know that I love him. He is still on the I don’t deserve a family kick but I tell him God tells us to forgive everyone and he nods. I let him know there are consequences for our actions in this life which is why we don’t get to go to Garcias for a while, but that I still love and forgive him. I tell him everyone deserves a family and that he will always have one with me. I give him a few hugs and he seems to understand and seems calm but remorseful. I can’t imagine what is inside that poor little kids head. I’m heart broken for him and feel bad for yelling at him in the truck “all this over a stupid lollipop.”

I go downstairs and hang out with girls as we finish the veggietales movie. I can hear that Son is upstairs listening. I feel bad for that kid!

We go upstairs after the movie and tuck daughter in. As Hunter leaves I tell her to tell Son she loves him. I can see him in his doorway listening to us and I wave to him on occasion. I say GN to daughter with another hug and kiss to Son and then downstairs.

Hunter is watching USA v Russia hockey and I’m standing. She asks me why. I tell her I don’t know but it’s because I don’t want to stay. She was so mean and nasty to him and doesn’t seem to sense how much she is abandoning him to focus on daughter so she can take her way from me. It’s killing both of the kids.

I sit down and finish the game with her. She remarks that I don’t seem nervous. I tell her I know who wins. How’s that? It’s tape delayed and they already announced the winner.

USA wins in the shoot out and she remarks about how unfair life is and I can’t stay. She has gotten so much more than she deserved after all of the horrible vial disgusting things she did to Patrick, me, and Holli and life is giving her $10 million in future earnings. My firm barely cash flows because of the SEC matter and Mikes refusal to cut Tony and restructure his department. Hunter cheats on me , uses me for money and stability for years and is now dumping me so she doesn’t have to share her future earnings. She makes me drive 30,000 miles a year to see my kids, and uses his condition to keep more than the 50/50 we talked about because she doesn’t want to pay child or spousal supports and life isn’t fair to her. Fuck she is clueless.

Also – I couldn’t find the engagement or wedding ring. I’m wondering if it’s in the truck or work and that’s way no one at work has asked. When I called her on it Friday she used the audio recall eye movement in response to the question about nobody asking about it and she has been pretty consistent with the eye movements so I’m starting to wonder if she still wears them at work. I saw the emerald and tanzanite rings in her box in the bathroom so she is wearing both of those not just the tanzanite but the engagement ring wasn’t in the box and neither was the Tiffany diamond necklace. I’m guessing they are in the truck / purse / work / gym bag somewhere and she wears them at work. I wonder if she is starting to think maybe this will work out. She only went back on match after I told her I was done. Interesting to see next week if she gets on it again. I’m pretty sure she would never put a picture up. She knows she could not trust herself but she keep looking into church groups outside of Daybreak. Crazy cat lady is what she will end up being. I feel bad for her too somedays. I hope she gets her shit together and give me daughter and let us go to Orange County. It’s selfish on my part but it would be the best thing for both kids. She would not be kicked or pushed everyday and learn that always yelling and saying mean things with mean expressions isn’t the right way to live and Son would not have to compete for Hunter’s love. Hunter would never be alone and rich. Only a dream that God can fulfill.

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