3/24/14 – Son Is Attacking Us Outside Chilli’s

Tough weekend. Friday was busy with nothing to do but shop at Target and Ralph’s. Decided to start the Breaking Bad series on Netflix. Pretty good show, but missed my kids. I texted Hunter some after she had got the kids home from Church movie night. Son had some small issues it sounds like – tried to hit Daughter a couple of times but no connections.

Saturday was swim and it was cold in the morning so Hunter and I snuggled on the bench. On the way out I kissed each one good bye. Hunter in her typical – why is it important?

– it just is

– fine (kiss) it doesn’t mean anything.

Went home worked out had lunch and wrapped Sons bday present. Went to the baseball game and was at the cleaners picking my clothes when Hunter calls and needs me to bring him cleats. When I get to the field and help Son get them on I come back and see Hunter. I put my arm around her and she does the same to me (which is strange to feel her reciprocating) and I tell her this is why it’s important. If there isn’t a level of physical activity between us then I just feel used when you need help and get nothing in return when I need help.

I know she is trying to slyly check her option although I don’t think she intellectualizes it that way. Just her running on auto pilot. When he took Son to get his hair cut she stopped by See’s candy (standard hair cut reward) and she got me my favorite again and brought it to the baseball game. So I hung out and played with Daughter and watched the game. Afterwards we went to Grado and started getting everything together for my night and Son starts getting upset because Daughter is playing with one of his toys.

He goes to hit her and Hunter steps in and restrains him. Needless to say this is not the right start to the night. He goes on about a movie night in between spitting sessions and blows to get out of the hold. I let him know we can’t go to Chili’s if he is behaving this way. This gets him slightly calm and we drive off.

I ask him if he feels like Chili’s or Panda Express since he wants Hunter to take him and he gets upset. So I say that we will go to Chili’s as originally intended. When we get there I take a vote on queso or dessert. He wants dessert and Daughter and I want queso and all hell breaks loose. He leaves the restaurant.

I leave Daughter and go after him and he says he is walking home. I text Hunter and let her know and get the servers attention to pay for the soda and milk we ordered. Nice enough guy he comps it.

I get back outside with Daughter and he has a six foot stick he is wielding around and waving at me. Hunter calls and I let her know what is going on. She is at the shell station and is going to drive by.

She gets there and he running around avoiding both of us – going on about not going back home. She asks do I want to get him and the stick. I say yes, go over and grab the stick and he jets off towards hied and Daughter and she grabs him and holds him down on the ground in front if Chili’s. Not a proud moment.

He calms a little and I grab him to take him to the truck. He gets active again and is trying to bite me and scratch me. When we get to the truck I am trying to get him secured with a seatbelt and I take a shot to the eye, a kick to the mouth (split lip) and he is scratching my face when he spits on me and Hunter is yelling to close the car door. So I do and Daughter and I take off as Hunter has yelled at us to do.

I drive off and she is in the front seat screaming her head off, and Son is practically breaking the window.

Daughter and I go to Panda Express and then to Party City to pick up a couple of things for Sons party. She sees the candy up front up and wants a piece. I tell her no since she had a cookie at Panda Express. She try’s to bite me and spits at me. When we get in the car she is teasing me because she didn’t get what she wanted and then laughs. All of Sons bad habits are becoming ingrained in her. We end up stopping by Grado to pick up her medicine and she is crying to stay with mommy. Hunter gets all “just ignore it” am I’m standing at my car going on about this is one day out of three weeks I get with the kids. She goes on about how she can’t do this with the kids.

Once Daughter gets to my place we are all good. She gets calm and relaxed and we enjoy our time playing Candyland & reading If You Give a Cat a Cupcake. We hang out and watch tv then bed. She cracks me up.

Sunday is easy. She gets up and watched a little tv – eats breakfast – baths then off to church. Hunter sneaks in the back of the hall and leaves early. Not sure why she is always coming to my service time but I’m guessing today’s it’s due to Sons bday party.

We meet at CEC, but she told me Vista but it’s at O-side. Needless to say I’m pissed when I get there. The kids have a great time and other than my mother following me and bothering me everyone else has a great time.

Afterwards the kids come with me but it’s a struggle since Hunter is spending as much time as possible with the kids but I have to take her aside during the party and calm her down because she is getting anxious and stressing. She tells me she can’t do this. But it works out like I said it would.

After nap time and movie we all go to my sisters for family dinner. Things go well and Son, Cousin, and Daughter play nicely. Afterwards we go to Grado for drop off.

I stay and help out, but Hunter is tired and obviously stressed and starts yelling at Son and Daughter again because Daughter didn’t take a shower. She had a bath in the morning so what’s the issue? I help with getting Daughter in bed. Afterwards Hunter and I hang out and snuggle and kiss a little. She talks about next week is quarter close and how “she can’t do this.” She gets a little annoyed with the kissing and so I eventually leave.

Today was tough at work trying to figure our FAT, and an old client is upset because he is under audit and doesn’t like to pay tax because he doesn’t understand us tax law. No kidding.

I get to the house and pick up el polo loco for the family. Feels like last year and we aren’t divorcing. We open up gifts and it’s getting late so I help with Daughter and I can hear Son and Hunter yelling at each other over drawing and cutting with scissors. Daughter isn’t listening and wants mommy for attention and by 8:15 Hunter is telling everyone to go to bed and Son is following her around the house saying he is going to get her. She eventually sits in the couch and checks out. No responses other than “leave me alone” and “I can’t do this.” What a frickin’ nightmare on Sons bday. I have to calm Daughter down because when I go in after Hunter leaves Daughter is shaking and scared from all of the screaming. I tell her if she ever gets scared again to tell mom to call me and I will come over and protect her. She asks to spend more time at my house and wants to sleep over again. I tell her we will try more time soon.

I leave and kiss Hunter goodnight since she has had a rough night and it’s obvious she wants me to stay. But I saw she was checking out a profile on Match yesterday. So when she rolls her eyes at my kiss I’m pissed. Who does she think she is – of course I was on OKC a few minutes earlier so why am I upset. She doesn’t want to be married to me but doesn’t want to be alone. I call her on the way home about Saturday but she is still bitchy.

I text to call me after she is chilled. She calls and she is still upset and I tell her I can help but we have to trade. She tells me she is upset because she feels I am inferring she can’t do it. She says she can’t do it, so I am guessing she is projecting. I tell her I don’t hear this trading just wanting some help but I need flexibility during this time if year. I think she finally gets it.

She is looking for help and to give time away without having to formalize it. It is becoming more important to get Daughter over at my place more. Hunter needs to get alone for a while to go get her head together and some dates under her belt if she hasn’t already. Time to move things forward on the divorce.

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