3/27/14 – FWB

Interesting couple of days. Last night I came over to Grado to help out and hang with the kids. Hunter and I hung out afterwards and snuggled for on hour plus then I started kissing her and the now traditional “why can’t you just hang out, why do you have try and take it to a place I’m not comfortable with?”

So the twenty minute discussion of what I want – what she doesn’t want – etc. she says she doesn’t know if she can get to FWB. I leave. I call her on the way home and quietly question what I’m doing and she says she needs some space (I’m guessing from the admissions since she is always asking me over), and she can’t tell me for certain this will work out. To be frank I didn’t think this was going to work out. I just assumed divorce with FWB since we need to work together on the kids and a FWB would prevent third parties from creating an even bigger disruption to everything. It sounds like she is just waiting to see how long before none of the past is brought up before trying to reconcile.

I don’t want that. I want FWB, more time with Daughter and my space from her and her space from me. I don’t say this, but just leave it as “I didn’t want you going out with other guys, but I guess I will have to let you and wreck your own life.” Then hang up.

She emails and texts Wednesday about Sons game. For some reason she is trying to get out of it. Maybe it’s work. Maybe she met a guy and wants to do drinks. I told her I would not be going to the game since I was there Monday and Tuesday, but she calls me at five and says I need to come get him and put him in the truck – everyone is holding him down. I get there and he is still anxious but putting on his catchers gear.

I talk with him after the inning and he says he doesn’t like that the CARE people are there. I talk with them and we agree to a 10 minute count down.

The game goes on a little easier while I play with Daughter say hi to Son on occasion and let Hunter sit and sulk and cry on her own behind home plate.

After the game she wants me to take the kids home. It’s already 7 no value in driving & drop offs. I tell that if she has plans to leave afterwards or just call the guy and cancel. She is upset and going on about how she isn’t dating. Yeah that’s why she is on Match.com To not date.

At home she makes dinner for everyone and I get Daughter bathed and dressed and Hunter gets upset because Daughter wants her to say prayers (like every other night). Why so much anger?

After the kids are in bed I tell her he seems to be doing fine at school, but the routine outside of school is inconsistent so that may be an issue. I don’t want to go to Chilli’s every Saturday night but if it will help I will – or Garcias. And if he can only stay one night then we will just keep moving her to my place more since the reason she is acting out more is a lack of attention. With just Hunter and Son acting out more of her attention is diverted from Daughter to Son and that isn’t healthy or helpful.

I need to see her phone and see if she has any programs that download text and I need to delete her messages so that she can’t retrieve them in case there is a court issue. At least if I wait long enough I can say it was temp, I go to counseling, went to classes, and is less messed up overall and this will give Daughter some time to mature and give more accurate responses.

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