My soon-to-be co-parent has been up to some nefarious activities lately. Only as the kids have gotten more used to coming to my place and understanding the rules of my house have they gotten more comfortable telling me what is actually going on over at Grado.
The rules at the Traditions:
1. No yelling, screaming, or arguing
2. No hitting, kicking, spitting, or pushing
3. We say we are sorry when we break rule 1 or rule 2
4. We help whenever we can
5. We laugh as much as we can
6. Hugs, kisses, compliments, and loyalty are the way we express ohana
7. We care more about protecting the hearts of the ones we love than care about “following” ours since our Father tells us that “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.” Jeremiah 17:9
I know that last line isn’t politically correct in this country or this day and age, but everyone who told me that they were following their heart is usually telling me a story of something they wish they hadn’t done. Ask anyone who got caught cheating on their spouse, fiancee, or boyfriend/girlfriend. They were all just following their heart and can’t understand why no one forgives them for their mistakes – especially those whose lives they have destroyed. I left my kids and moved in with that 22 year-old in another state because I was following my heart. You can’t blame me for that. I just couldn’t help myself. I loved him/her and I was just following my heart. Etc, etc, etc. As I told Hunter late last year when she told me she didn’t mean to hurt me – love is caring more about protecting the hearts of the ones you love over your own. She told me that me and my family could judge her in the afterlife as she would be spending it in hell. From her religious standpoint I am pretty sure she has been in hell for decades and will stay that way for the remainder of her days in this vessel or across the veil.
(I use title’s instead of his apartment or her house since it reduces turf wars, and helps the kids understand that they have two homes, two rooms, and can take their books, toys, friends to either when it is their time at each place.)
She see the world as the movie What Dreams May Come. She will spend her life in hell until someone who really loves her joins her and then saves her. I was that person after Patrick wasn’t it. Chris was it after I wasn’t it. The next guy she infatuates over and doesn’t dump her immediately once they figure her out a couple years into the relationship that she has some serious issues will end up being the last person she ends up in hell with. And of course I sit here typing wishing that there was someway for her to get help and us to work things out, but I know that will never happen. All of the pent up sexual energy and money will get flushed into a new sucker for a couple of years, and by the time he is hooked he is screwed as he can no longer get out of what has devoloved into a loveless unhealthy relationship which is too expensive and too painful to get out of.
Back to the headline. My three year old is telling me tonight that Mom told her on Monday night (the night that Hunter took away all weeks worth of tv from the two of them) that she told them that she was mean to them when we got married (aka her affair, faked pregnancy, faked miscarriage, email to Chris’s wife, and then the cutting and fake suicide to blame me for the bad part of our marriage all under a guise for me to believe her when she told me she wasn’t cheating on me with Chris just had a school girl crush on him and they had become best friends), but that was OK because she didn’t like me. It’s ok to be mean to people if you don’t like them even if its your spouse. It’s ok to cheat on your spouse as long as you don’t “love them.” She was only following her heart. Must be why Chris’s went into hiding in Seattle afterwards, and Patrick moved to Colorado.
This on top of my son telling me last week that she told him that if the two of them kept talking about wanting to see daddy that she would kick them out of the house and never let them sleep there again just like she did their dad. That is some messed up shit to tell a 6 year-old with Aspergers, and a 3 year-old. I’m not what I am going to do. I can’t get enough direct evidence to use against her and the children are too small to be totally reliable. God pray for me and my family.