5/29/14 – Toy Story and Andy’s Dad

A lot of people loved Toy Story. My kids love the movies too, and I’m sure my son has memorized all of the first and most of the second. He isn’t as invested in the third. It’s a bit dark so Hunter and I have shelved it in both our houses, but the Grandparents allow it on occasion.

But I am starting to feel like Andy’s dad. If you have ever spent a little time thinking about the movie you will notice that Andy and Molly don’t have a dad. Just a mom. A mom without a ring who is moving from a large home without a single picture of a dad to a smaller home. (I can totally relate as Hunter has removed any trace of me in the house). Obviously dad is out of the picture. Most likely divorce or there would at least be pictures of the late father.

Disney has a lot of films where at least the dads are gone, if not both parents. Up, Tangled, Lilo & Stitch, Frozen, Princess and the Frog, Aladdin.

I’m starting to understand why. At least in this state and society the moms win. It’s a natural part of the fabric of a broken home. Mom gets the house, kids, and supports. Dad gets to pay for the privilege regardless of what’s in the best interest of the kids.

I’ve called out my sons MD on this when he wished me good luck after he found out Hunter and I split. Not goodbye, but good luck. That is a subtle but strong distinction. One is a societal temporary notation, the other a permanent goodbye.

I called out sons teacher who didn’t even bother to think about saying thank you to me for the teacher appreciation gifts. I didn’t do anything and I gave Hunter all of the credit after my comment, but I wanted to point it out. That the double standard also destroys a lot of lives.

It removes the father from the picture even if he is the better suited parent. It destroys relationships and the tears at the fabric of society which is already so worn and torn from the infidelity and divorce rate.

It’s hard to stand strong when you are being denied parental rights from the mother and the state sides with her because I have XY instead of XX.

It’s a self fulfilling prophecy and women wonder why men go and find younger models and sports cars after a divorce. We don’t have much of a choice. The mother and the state took our families and children away. What else do we have to do with our time to fill the void left where our hearts and families used to be?

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe most guys are dbags and abandon the wife and children. Maybe I’m an exception by wanting to take them away from her. Maybe I couldn’t handle them either, but even Hunter says I’m the better and more patient parent. Maybe I’m just getting tired of playing this game of hers for my children. She is going to fuck them anyways, why drown myself to?

There is an internet meme that Andy’s mom is actually the little girl who abandoned Jessie so long ago. Maybe the mom cheated on the dad and then kicked him out because she didn’t love him. Maybe Andy’s mom is a Borderline and can’t love anything that isn’t perfect or satisfying a need for permanence or her fear of abandonment which is why she destroys anything that loves her and eventually throws them away.

Maybe I’m readying too much into the film because Hunter has kept me from talking to my daughter two nights in a row after sending me four pics and two videos of my daughter playing in the sprinklers on Monday. Like some crazy ransom note about I better love her and respond to all of her requests for attention or you will never see your daughter again. Maybe I need a break somewhere to take her away from the Hunter that will carve out the joy inside my daughter and try and fill herself up with it until there is nothing left inside either of them.

Maybe…

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