Called her up to discuss tomorrow and going to Orange County for dinner. A long time ago when we were getting along that all four of us go. It’s my favorite restaurant for decades and it’s her favorite margarita too. We used to go there all the time. So she says she will bring the kids up there – just let her know what time.
I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable with it. That it was ok when we were getting along but not know. She starts in with the “well I thought,” “it would be nice if,” etc. I tell her I’ve been trying to talk to her about this and what I’m feeling. She talks about how painful it is that I don’t talk to her. No hello, goodbye, won’t look her in the eyes. I talk about FWB and I still love her and I can’t just hang out with her. How if she wants boundaries I can only give her boundaries right now by hating her.
Then she gets into what I said yesterday, and I say it was harsh but I didn’t swear or yell. Then it’s about saying hello and goodbye and looking her in the eyes. I tell her I can’t do it, then she starts in on she isn’t going to have sex with me. We aren’t friends after what I said yesterday. How we have nothing in common. I list virtually everything she does are common interests. Exceptions – all of the religious reality shows (polygamists and the Amish shows I hate but she loves, and some of the Bravo Housewives). And she loves scuba I snorkel.
Then I talk to her about the benefits she wants and it’s unfair for me not to get what I want. Then she says she won’t ask for them, but no FWB. That sets me off, but I never raise my voice.
Oh so you can fuck Chris without loving him because you want friends at PwC but not your husband of 15 years. He just used you and that’s ok because you get to use me. It’s tough thinking that you haven’t loved me in 12 years. She makes an interesting comment about how she doesn’t want to give me hope so she is sticking to that story and isn’t going to discuss things.
I go on about second chances and that God isn’t going to give her a second chance if she can’t give me one or even try to make up for what you’ve done.
She eventually tells me that she is never going to speak to me again and hangs up. I call her work and cell several times and a couple of texts over the next hour or so. I need you. We need to talk about tomorrow. All vmail. My text about her trying to get an invite to dinner and not liking me say no and then she hangs up on me is not acceptable.
She sends another text about me being abusive and calling her names and how I am twisting the truth.
I text her back saying she is the one revising history. She is the debaser. I tell her facts and she tells me she hasn’t loved me in 12 years, only used me because she didn’t want to be alone. She can say the most vile things and it’s ok for her to say these things but if I state facts I am being mean.
I text her that I am not going to take the abuse anymore. She needs to stop with the distortion campaigns and parental alienation.
No reply. I send another text that we haven’t finalized tomorrow.
She texts me what time should she drop them off or I can pick them up. Again another sly way of inviting herself. She knows if she shows up that I would not have the heart to make her go somewhere else. What’s most interesting is I told her on the phone that I wasn’t working tomorrow and my plan was to drive them up and back. That’s why I told her a while ago I didn’t plan on taking her. Oh, but that isn’t what she wants…
That sets me off so I text her a thank you for going out of her way to ruin things for me again and make specific references to her affair and how she yelled at me about not getting her a big enough gift for our 10th last year but she got me nothing. I made up for with a Tiffany gold/diamond necklace this year but she never got me the watch she said she would. Then I text her a link to the watch in case she forgot. I know she will never buy it for me. Even at $400k she is to cheap and selfish to do something she made a promise for.
No repose other than she will tell Debbie I will pick them up.
On the ride home she texts me that some of my sons aids stopped by to discuss things and they will call me. She emailed me earlier that she wanted to set up a meeting and when was I available and I emailed her back about this week. I text her to call me.
She finally does and we start discussing things. She says she talked on the phone and discussed “my issue.” Now it’s me not her.
Then she talks about what happened. She says she has pictures of bruising only sons from last weeks issues with the therapists. I say send them over and why didn’t she tell me. She says she doesn’t have to. I ask her to send me an email once a week to go over health and behavioral issues. I talk about not hearing about my sons loose teeth and my daughter not having any friends at school.
She tells me she didn’t send them to me since she wasn’t sure who did it the therapists or Debbie. I say it doesn’t matter if he is harmed I deserve to know. Then she goes on about how I said it was her problem so she didn’t need to keep me informed. I tell her that isn’t true. I said we had a plan and to put it into place not make me drive 65 miles to do something that she wants done but doesn’t want to do it.
Then she gets into how she wasn’t sure it was the therapist or maybe Debbie and then do I want the pictures she took of his head. That sets me off.
– What are you implying that I did that?
– No but I don’t know exactly who did it.
– Be very careful. You know I didn’t do that to his head so implying it is down thing I will not tolerate.
– Well you are the one taking about parental alienation. It sounds like you are talking with your attorney again.
– I haven’t been taking to anyone, but the kids have told me that you told then that you would not allow them to live at your house if they complain about seeing me. That you tell them that I broke the marriage not you.
– Oh but it’s okay for you to tell them that I cheated on you.
-Yeah. When you lie to them about who broke the marriage then I have to defend myself and tell them the truth.
– Well Son says you threw him out of the car on Saturday.
– And I told you that I wouldn’t let him come if her didn’t want to. I told you I didn’t touch him. He told you I didn’t touch him. Your the one imply that he is stating that I physically touched him when the term “threw out” is what you use to describe what you did to me when I moved out so he uses it.
Then she goes on about how she only called to talk about the therapist. I tell her that she shouldn’t bring up other subjects then. She tells me she will have the kids call me and tell her don’t bother. She starts talking to get me to allow it and I hang up in her.
She calls and I send it to vmail. She is obviously pissed since she sends me the “bruise” photos and it’s scratches not bruises and says they are the “presumed” injuries from the therapist of Debbie. I call and rip into her about she needs to be very careful about what she is starting to embark on as I will not tolerate even the slightest implications of child abuse by her and she should be prepared for a war if I even hear a reference anywhere. She says she used presumed since she didn’t know which it was (therapist or Debbie). I tell her next time she can just state here are the pictures you requested.
Then I talk with son and his two front teeth are gone. He took one out at school and one at home. Then I read a couple of books to daughter and Hunter is complaining the whole time. I mention to Hunter that she should buy an iPad or iPad mini and stand so the kids can talk to me privately per our MSA. She huffs. Yeah $300 is too much to spend on something when you make $400k.
Daughter also mentions that she played with “all her friends.” Obviously mom has prepped both of them since my sons makes a comment how no one yells over there anymore. Even though I heard her yelling at the kids in the earlier phone call. Hunter is obviously on alert about her abuse and is now getting the kids to support her lies.
Time to move to Orange County and get away from this psycho before I fall off the face of the earth. It blows me away how quickly she goes from nothing to ape shit crazy and then back down to nice and polite. That would be fun to pull around the court. Like a marionette I could pull those strings easily enough. But why waste the money.
The marriage is over. I need to move on. There is no FWB or friends at all. I just hope she doesn’t start clinging on to me again in a few days like she did after the fire. Just need to not respond and start walking away. I just wish I could take my daughter with me. All it took was reading with her this weekend and she wants it all the time again. And another hug from the phone. She always makes comments about how mom never hugs her and that’s true. Hunter isn’t touchy feely. She just makes things look pretty. Sad existence.
All hell will break loose in November after she is tired of being alone on the weekends and I push for more Saturdays off so I can go out. Her work will strass the shit out of her and she will have a couple of one night stands or two/three time relationships and then she will come knocking again. Hopefully I will be have removed my emotional connections by then.