6/17/14 – “The Talk”

So today was going well. Had a great networking meeting and a soft offer for a job in San Diego. Still need to really explore the opportunity but always good to know there are opportunities out there and fun to meet a fellow Arthur Andersen Alum. Amazing how people from two different geographic regions and age groups can have to much in common and know people in common who live in neither of the states we live in.

Got some emails from my sons behavioral therapists arranging for a meeting with Hunter and I although it was supposed to be just me. The head of the practice wanted emails from Hunter allowing it and I went off via email. Called and left an angry message with her assistant then showed up at her office and politely hung out there until they saw me.

We had a long 1.5 hour conversation. I told them I thought Hunter was BPD. That Hunter had told son regarding being hurt, social services, getting Hunter thrown in jail, kicking them out of the house (which she guessed at before I finished the story). They don’t know if they can help in. They suggested in-therapy.

Really? A seven year-old in a mental health ward. Just the overnight away from Hunter or I would kill him. The head of the practice doesn’t know if they can help him with what’s going on. At least they were appreciative of me telling them everything and it helped them to understand why they hadn’t made any progress with him. They said it was the first case were there wasn’t significant progress in the first two months. Yeah team. At least it was good to get it all out there. I don’t know if it will help but maybe it will help them change tactics for him. God help that little kid.

I’m guessing it didn’t help. The head of the practice just dumped my son. We will have a final meeting on Monday and then goodbye. She said he needs a traditional therapist to discuss the divorce. They just don’t want to deal with Hunter and I. Yeah a traditional therapists will help and still no social services / friends club which is what we ultimately wanted. Fuck me.

I text my sister and she tells me it’s my fault. I shouldn’t tell anybody that she has issues. That if I keep telling people I will lose the kids. I should tell them that she sometimes hurts the kids. That’s she is presumably Borderline. Don’t tell anyone anything and just let Hunter do what she wants.

That will only destroy the kids. I love my sister but she has never been one to handle heavy situations very well. If there is a need for a fight she folds. She folded on everything that her sons father asked for without even consulting an attorney or anyone who has any understanding of her family dynamics. Sometimes the right move is to wait. Sometimes it’s to establish and defend proper boundaries.

If she would have taken time to read one book on BPD she would be telling me something different. I love her but she never had the emotional bandwidth to handle much. Just walk away is something I want to do but not necessarily the right answer for my children.

I texted Hunter to see if she got the email. No response. I’m guessing I won’t hear anything for a little while. Maybe it’s time for Kentucky’s finest…

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