6/20/14 – Let the Accusations Fly

So started the day with Hunter’s response to my voicemail and email yesterday. She “doesn’t want to discuss this via email” so goes on and lists all the things my son tells her I do “all the time.” That last piece is how I know she is trying to exaggerate for legal reasons. I reply with additional things he told me. She doesn’t reply.

I try and find out where she is on the MSA and she is taking it to her attorney this afternoon. I let her know that I’m only doing it after I get an updated and complete copy. She is pushing off filing this thing as long as possible. You don’t review incomplete docs. I am guessing she is trying to get enough documentation to either substantiate her false abuse charges or to determine how badly I could hammer her with my evidence. Either way if she goes down that road I have these notes since July 2013 so she’s fucked.

I know she deleted any notes she had in December of 2013 since I called her out on her lying to me about taking notes. So the only notes she can have are the last few weeks and with all of the restraining everyone else has been doing they won’t be worth anything. Plus I’m sure she doesn’t want to spend the money on a war she knows she can’t win 100%. All I want to do is get this shit signed and behind me.

I talked with another attorney last night on the issue and she had thoughts on how I could push off a final custody schedule in case things work out with my sons joint counseling with me. Hunter and the soon-to-be former ABA team had similar thoughts. I tried to get Hunter to go to therapy, but there is “nothing wrong with her.”

I tried to hang out with my son this afternoon but he didn’t want to do I text Hunter congrats. As heart broken as I was – complete meltdown – I pulled it together rather quickly. I think I am coming to terms that even if I stay my relationship with my kids will never be what I want. Then again me kids will never develop into the man and woman I would have thought they would be under Hunter’s guidance.

I hung out with my daughter instead. Memory Game – riding her Tiger (on my back) and If You Give a Cat a Cupcake. While he hang out she tells me I yell at her all the time. Why do you say thought? I don’t. Mommy says that. Do I? No. Then don’t say that…

Time to come to terms with everything and put my trust in God. Maybe there is somewhere out there for me – maybe not. The kids will be presidents and executives or convicts. I can’t control these things anymore. I never could. I only make things worse by pushing her. I only hurt more when I push more. I need to keep reminding myself to be water – less rock. I miss my ideas of family, but they were never real with Hunter anyways. No one ever liked her. She with either get good at faking being human or die miserable. I don’t control anything. She won’t get help.

As Ben says the only thing I have is my discipline. It’s the only thing I can control. Again another reminder that the future is not something that I can control. The past is not something I can change. We all die in the end. Time to stop trying to control things and just let them go…

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