Although I haven’t gotten a decent sleep in three days today was at least semi-productive. Got daughter up ready and at school by 8 am and spent all morning in productive endeavors. Lots of clients happy this Monday.
The hard part was the constant email flurry from Hunter this morning. More movement on the MSA which is good. Scheduling appointments with my sons now-former ABA service providers and the start of setting up times with his previous counselors to start work for him, him and I, and hopefully with Hunter.
Some emails about my vacation week next week. That’s where she starts to reinvent the Norman Rockwell home she provided for them.
– I ask if she will be out of town that week. If son has issues he might want to spend the night at her house. She tells me she is busy with quarter close so she isn’t going out of town, but she has a hair appointment, eye brow wax appointment, and getting her nails done on the agenda. I think to myself that doesn’t sound busy with work.
– She tells me she hopes the issues with my son and I won’t affect the vacation so she won’t be needed.
– Maybe I can schedule a time for him to spend the night at my parents instead to give both of us a break.
– She wants more time with the old ABA team so she can discuss the issues with son and I with them to see what they have to say.
– I ask if she can hang out at her place on Thursday to help get a better result than the last two weeks midweek meeting. She says she will if I think it is needed.
She paints a very pointed picture that everything is rosy over there and all his issues are with me. There is never a hint that she needs help whatsoever. The funny part is when she had her week in the spring she didn’t keep them the entire week and she asked me almost a half-dozen times to take them more. Worst part is she had daughter in school and son in a camp. She didn’t actually do anything with them at all. And now she has told them all that she is taking them to her moms in Seattle. I don’t foresee that going well unless she drugs the shit of them with Benadryl before the flights. Plus was a strange place for son. It will most definitely be out of routine, but as long as Grandma is dealing with him Hunter will get some good times with daughter.
I tried to play nice and let her take charge of the MSA and the counseling. I sent her a text with the Frozen / Dads parody thats gone vital and sent her some pictures of our trip to the aquarium (at least the ones without me in them). No words. I am sure in her mind I am forever the enemy. Tough to be the enemy and the person she needs most to give her a break from the kids. I and sure it is frustrating for her especially when daughter cares more about seeing her brother than mom tonight on FaceTime and walks away half way through Hunters time with her. Although my daughter did say I Love You – goodbye before she walked away.
The more she tells a story in advance to the counselors the worst things will look once everyone gets wind of what’s going on, and when son finally comes clean with what’s going on they will. She can’t keep this a secret forever. Once she gets to year-end close in September / October she will lose it again like she did last year.
I will have a lot of hell to go through and may not always be able to control the emotional swings, but in the end the truth will come out and things will will change. Hopefully for the better. I’ve been trying not to pray for inappropriate things. Lately I daydream and pray for her to find her way to help. Not for our reconciliation but for her healing, my relief, and better childhoods for the kids. Hopefully her pushing her agenda with the kids will only hasten an eventual coming to terms for her, therapy and a catharsis that will hopefully release her from the prison cell inside her mind.
I getting more and more on board that this is the path that we were meant to take. I don’t know if I will get investigated for these false accusations or not. I’m not sure if Hunter will be investigated for more accurate issues, or if she will ever seek help. At least I do know that the future will be rough, but give us all an opportunity to heal, grown and create a different future.
For me it may not be as financially sound or exotic as I thought it was going to be. Maybe it will allow me to be free from my own past misdeeds from a time oh-so-long ago. Maybe I will grow strong and free to keep a safe-haven for that time when my children need a place to run to so they may heal and grow as well. Maybe things will work out in the end.