Interesting holiday weekend. The last two days I’ve been going to the pool / dinner / movie with everyone. It’s her weekend so I shouldn’t see the kids at all, but I know Hunter is lonely and needs a little break. Especially since she spent all day on Friday with daughter.
That’s the funny part. I got texts and pictures from Hunter several times on Friday with what the three were up to. Never sure why other than she needs someone to talk to. At the end of the night she doesn’t call with the kids, but we text a little and she texts me that she will tell me all about the PTA bs at the pool tomorrow.
Now I just wanted the kids a couple of hours in the afternoon. Mainly to watch the USC home opener against Fresno State, but I know Hunter will be watching it anyways after the pool so I don’t put up a fuss about the pool.
Then she texts me that I can to the pool and hang out and swim with the kids. She will be reading a book. I tell her I will pass since I don’t want to be around her if I’m not allowed to talk to her. A bit uncomfortable. Why do I have to play nice while she gets to be a bitch? She tells me I’m reading too much into things, but I’m not interested in her using the kids as subterfuge to not be alone.
Sunday is the same pool arrangement but her texts are “us” instead of the “kids.” She joins us in the pool and spends half the time talking with me. My daughter and son won’t leave my side for the two hours and beg Hunter to let me come over for dinner. We go out since there is nothing defrosted. I’m getting the impression that was a Hunters plan.
We go to our hold Mexican haunt and she talks non stop from the time we got in the car until we get home. Afterwards the kids want me to hang out and watch Clone Wars with them. I hang out on the couch and Hunter sits in the chair spread eagle watching me and the kids.
Afterwards I try to leave and she keeps talking about things for the kids, then corners me near the kitchen to show me my sons art and she is less than two inches from me. I finally have to slowly back off and then walk away three times before she lets me leave. I know she was trying to get me to kiss her since she had been drinking at the restaurant.
Labor Day was similar but I’m guessing she knew she crossed her “boundary.” Back to keeping more of a distance and same pose on the couch except she covers up with a blanket. At the end she tells me thank you for spending time with the kids. That pisses me off so I stop for the kiss and she gets upset.
I have her call me after the kids are in bed and tell her I know she likes it when I’m there and that it’s rude that she constantly says “thank you for spending time with the kids.” I’m not an uncle or a babysitter – I’m their DAD! I get her to admit that she likes it to have these family times and help with the kids and someone to talk to who isn’t a coworker or family. As usual she has to put a dig in there that if it weren’t for the kids she wouldn’t be talking to me. I tell her if it weren’t for the kids you wouldn’t know how to get a hold of me. Like every other man I would be a myth to her. I’m getting really close to unlocking all of the really juicy and old writings on this blog and use her real name just to get the revenge she got on Chris. It would be the “fair” thing to do. It’s not the right thing to do, but I am starting to question whether there is a God if he would allow such a monster to roam the earth and destroy so much.
I was talking to my dad before Hunter and he is telling me that he understands the need to try and reconcile, but he warns me that there will not be anything left of me if I stay around her. Her pathology is so destructive to anyone she touches that I will not know myself if I try and spend time with her. He is right, but I’m still stuck on extracting what she owes me. I keep going back to why God would bless someone with so much money and my children when she has destroyed so many lives and still denies any desire to make up for the atrocities.
I know I just have to let it go, but she is such a monster I want to warn the world of the evil that resides in her. Knowing that a monster walks the earth it’s a moral duty to warn the world. However that’s wrong. I just have to walk away with whatever little bit of money and the destroyed career that I can never rebuild and just be thankful to have that insanity out of my life and have a bit of vision that is truth.
Just need to heal my leg, work out, and lose the 25/30 pounds and start dating. Put her in my rear view mirror but I still am torn about leaving my kids. I still don’t know what to do about that. The state won’t let me take them, and I’m having an impossible time letting them go. I want to stay down here in San Diego, but how do I make a living for the long haul without a job? I pray if there is a God that he will at least help me find a way to be with the kids, make a living, and not be around Hunter at all. I don’t think it’s fair that the monster gets the kids. She is wrecking them and I pray God helps get a Hunter into counseling or give me the kids.