Wow. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I knew sending over the notes on the agreement would create a bit of an issue with her fear of abandonment. But the whole let’s go straight to a mediator was a bit more than I anticipated. Then again she knows that her schedule is a minimum of three weeks out which would put another revision out until mid to late November.
I call and try and ask her to do what I did-put my review notes inside Word. We can discuss what are deal breakers and what we can live without. Of course the totally devolves into a series of circular arguments on her side. All over a couple of thousand dollars. The whole “you expect the kids to pay for their medical with their bank accounts” cracks me up. My response: you wants them to pay for their own birthday parties out of that account? You want them to pay for their friends presents with those accounts?
Then she goes on about having to pay for more of the kids party gifts than me, and I respond with how much of a difference are we really going to make at the end of a year? With sports and uniforms and everything else it’ll end up being maybe a hundred a year. Especially with you making $400k a year is it really going to make a difference?
Her canned response after fifteen minutes of taking is “whatever you want I just want to be done-you win. Just tell the attorney whatever you want and I’ll sign it.” And the separation agreement is off the table since I’m being such an ass. Yeah that’s me now!
All I’m asking is for her to respond to the notes just like I did for her notes. I go through another twenty minutes letting her know that we are wasting another grand on the attorney when we are fighting over a grand, does it make sense to wait another two or three months to finish this up?
Then she starts talking about how I think she’s such a bitch and how she’s deserved this, etc, etc, etc. Then she goes on about not being able to do anything. I tell her if things don’t work for her on the kids custody then let me know and let’s work something out. Then it’s this is her punishment for her actions. I tell her we are all paying for her actions and will for the rest of our days why do you have to be miserable the entire time?
I ask her if I have yelled or picked a fight or called her a name in the last two months? No response. She gets it.
She finally tells me that she will respond tomorrow.
Somewhere in there is her rant on dating. First it’s she doesn’t have time because she always has a kid. Then it’s why should she ever want to date again after this failed relationship and her previous boyfriend. Always looking for sympathy.
Where’s the “I’ve cheated on every committed relationship I’ve ever been in? ” Where’s the “I still consistently lie to everyone who will listen to me? ” Where’s the “I will still go out of my way to try and get someone to take meet out and be my fantasy boyfriend but still pretend to be celibate so that my ex husband will still take care of me? ”
And then there was the comment about how she’s losing half her team at work with more responsibility. Oh, I don’t think I care, but I need to pacify her to get this done otherwise it will be another three months before we close this deal out.
Yeah she is deeply afraid of letting this thing happen until she has my replacement, and I’m not sure she will really find one unless she finds one at work. There is nothing inside her that will let a man make less than her and still be her man. She needs to use not be used which is why she is interested in this divorce now that she makes more money than me.
Of course constantly listening to her tell me she isn’t going to be rich when she dies is funny. Other than the kids education what major expense does she have? Other than maybe me if my partner’s have their way… Then again there is no comments from the peanut gallery yet.
Must suck to be her. Can’t leave. Can’t stay. Can’t find a replacement fast enough. I know she is totally desperate to find someone she’s just too afraid.
Ben called it last week. Any hint to being abandoned will bring her into psycho mode. She was even nice and pleasant on face time tonight and wanted to talk a little.
I hope at some point in time she can get the help she needs and can find a way to enjoy a little bit of life although I agree with her she shouldn’t every date again. She will end up fucking that up if she hasn’t gotten help yet. And who will pay the price? Me and the kids…