10/13/14 – Why Hit Me In The Head With The Bible?

Why is it that every Bible thumper I meet tells me that I need to pray to stay in this marriage for the kids? That that is what God wants for all marriages to stay together. Does God really want me in a loveless relationship with someone I know has no issues with infidelity? No ability for honesty. No sense of self development or growth.

I go to lunch with a partner I used to work for at Andersen, and Hunter worked for even longer at PwC although they never stay in contact. My main concern is getting help finding a job and secondly seeing how his wife is doing with her cancer scare. I know it’s reverse of what it should be, but I am also in need.

We talk about everything (not much detail), and he commends my vigilence (not dating (sex) and still helping out with the kids, trying to be kind to Hunter (at least to her face), etc) but then continues to tell me the best thing for me is to stay faithful to her, put on my wedding ring, tell Hunter I will take care of her the rest of my life because I think God will restore this marriage. And keep my job no matter what letting her date and work and treat us all like shit forever while keeping all of her money.

WTF! Where in the Bible does it say that I have to stay married? If I remember correctly Christ specifically states divorce is acceptable in cases of infidelity.

I get it he needs to stay loyal to her since she is a high profile client and they worked together for a long time. Of course, my story is almost fictitious enough for even me not to believe. Sometimes I question this whole thing myself.

I used to go back over all of the old logs from 2013 and read Hunters book just to convince myself that I didn’t create this. That I’m not the one that needs to be committed. Now that I know all that does is bring up pain and anger and resentment I don’t bother. There is no value to it. I know the truth. I fucking lived it no matter what anyone else believes. And if this Godly Christian thinks that staying in this marriage and hell is acceptable then I understand why his son is now an atheist.

Sometimes God has to break down an unwholly temple to build a better one or am I missing the point. Stick together for a emotionally explosive bitch. I want someone on my side. In my corner somedays.

I want to feel God is in my corner. All I ever see is the blessings the infidels get. No blessings for the rest of us. I read all that prosperity doctrine shit and wonder what the fuck is up with that. It’s like the Secret. Pay, pray, play and pass it on.

Hunter passed it along and all I got was an STD. Put that shit on a t-shirt.

I get it. It may not seem like it from my ramblings but I am getting my shit together (slowly), but my head is a lot calmer than it used to be. I’m betting if a single parent who was looking at losing his job, having to move, starting to date again, and dealing with just a volatile ex would garner a lot of emotional insecurity. Add on all of the other BS I deal with from my relationship and then to be told God wants this than no.

I don’t believe in that God. That principle is not Biblical and the Bible thumpers should stop spouting that doctrine. I want the fuck out and I thought being nice was the right was to go. I guess I could be a Christian and smack her adulterous head with a thick book but that isn’t going to change the past. Just the custody schedule.

How about a Christian telling me – good for you – move on and find a wonderful new Christian girl to marry and have a great life? Is that too much to ask for?

It better yet:

I can’t imagine what you are going through. I am not going to judge you, I’m only going to ask how can I help?

That would seem like the Christian thing to do.

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