I still have no idea why he gets so out of control with Hunter. I’m guessing it’s her inability to de-escalate the situation. Her rage and volatility do not work to his advantage, and I understand how difficult it is to manage him. Even after all of the effort I put into myself and my demeanor I still catch myself on occasion using a strong tone with him when he flys off the handle.

The difference is I am getting very good at reading him and recognizing when I am contributing to his outburst by bringing in the angry or harsh energy into his world. When I make that recognition I can calm myself down and then help him do the same. No one’s perfect, but at least I am working on myself. Right now I am sure Hunter is on her second or third drink to get over her fight with our son.

I hope we find a way that doesn’t just involve medication. Upping the Abilify doesn’t bother me too much since it would only be 3 mg which is a very small dose, but I don’t want it to be Hunter’s go to crutch. If it does it eventually will become my problem and my financial downfall as she will abandon him and I for her job and financial security. God help us all, and let the job offer come in tomorrow at better than expected…

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