12/25/14 – Who Is Going To Protect The Kids?

It’s been a very long week; spending most of it with Hunter and the kids. Started Monday at the psychiatrist for my son and a lecture on getting his blood work done for the Abilify. Hunter was three months late on the schedule. She tells me she doesn’t need me, but she is “busy with work” so it never got done. The conversation turns towards counseling for him. His old counselor is no longer an intern and going out on her own so she is no longer covered under the insurance.

Actually – just not pre-approved. Based on my understanding of the insurance we could still submit bills and get some amount of reimbursement, but Hunter doesn’t want the hassle (since it’s her insurance), and an additional $3k or so is too much to try and not get reimbursed. Besides, our son is also going to a friend’s club for socializing and the insurance might not take both of them. I just hate that she keeps that control.

After the appointment I tell my son that I will be working on the top floor of the building we are at in 2015 since that’s where my new job is. I tell him he can tell his mom when she gets out of the bathroom. When she comes out he does, and she says congratulations and asks a little about the firm. I tell her you can cancel the meeting with the attorney (since we won’t be discussing spousal support with my job), and to get the MSA finished up. She asks me why? I tell her I didn’t think there was anything else to discuss, but if there was something else to let me know. As of today – no cancellation no comment.

On Tuesday we go to Children’s Hospital for my son’s blood draw which went fairly well. Only a few blood curdling screams and tears, but we don’t have to get “John” to hold him down or use anesthesia so that’s great. Hunter buys him and I breakfast at McDonald’s afterwards.

Then a dental appointment right afterwards, with a full teeth cleaning for my son and x-rays. Kid handled it like a champ. However, it’s going to be time for the ortho. Too big teeth, too little room.

After that she invites me in for lunch. She even offers me some of her sisters pistachio brittle which was nice. That afternoon we go to Christmas Eve Eve service. My daughter runs around like a madman and I play with her since we are early. Hunter doesn’t find this funny.

My son wins a dance contest at church, but won’t dance on stage in front of everyone. He just wants to win. He was so desperate to win, and he was so excited about it. It’s fun to watch him be a normal kid sometimes. Hunter takes us all out to dinner afterwards, and makes a small comment when I asked about the time to pick the kids up on the 24th. I find it funny that she always uses the kids as the impetus for me being around.

I stop by and pick up the kids the morning of Christmas Eve, and we hang out, play, and then head over to my parents for dinner. We open presents, hang out with my sister, and my son and I play lightsabers. He is getting better at it, and seems more relaxed when we do it now. More in the present and when my daughter walks out with a lightsaber he finds away for all three of us to play. I stand there a little proud of him.

Afterwards I drop them off at Hunters and we put cookies, milk, and carrots out for Santa and his reindeer. When I get home, the anger is swelling in me and I talk with my sister for a while. Afterward I watch The Interview and wrap gifts, then go to bed in a more relaxed mood.

This morning I got up and went over there around 8:30. We opened Santas, Hunters, and her family’s gifts. Afterward we go to the park to get some of their energy out.

At the park it starts to drizzle then rain a little and the kids (ours and two others ) hide under one of the slide setups, and Hunter and I hide under a different one (separate cubbies). The rain stops and the kids gravitate toward Hunter and I, then it starts up a little and my daughter pulls my son’s hair as he is trying to get under cover. Then he tries to poke her in the eye with a stick. I try and get his attention, then Hunter starts screaming at him.

Off he goes…a few blocks down the hill and Hunter takes off after him.

My daughter and I stay for a while then start walking back to her house. Then my son starts running up the hill screaming about hitting my daughter in the face, and spitting at us. I keep telling him to go home and take a break. I keep my daughter behind me for safety as he is throwing things behind the spitting and attempted hitting. When Hunter turns the corner up the hill I see it in my son’s eyes. When she gets close enough, she starts yelling at him to go home and he takes off again down the hill.

My daughter and I continue walking to her home. We get home and hang out for a few and when I’m in the bathroom I hear my son coming in with threats of violence and assume Hunter is behind him.

I come out and she is partially in tears and stressed. I ask what happened and she talks about how embarrassed she was since he went off in front of others. I get her a piece of candy and she eventually sits on the couch and checks out. I remember this from last year. She is blank again. There is no response going on in her presence. I tap her leg a couple of seperate times to bring her out of it without angering her.

My daughter tries to get her attention by playing with my son’s new Christmas toys in front of her and gets a small reaction. I tell her I will hang with the kids for a little while if she wants to take a walk or relax. She says no. Of course, it’s her ego making that call. The tears in her eyes are telling the truth.

I hang out a few more minutes until she gets back to the present then take off to my sister’s for an early dinner. I try not to worry about the kids. I don’t know how the rest of today will go for them, but I can’t help them either.

I get to my apartment around 2:30. I texted Hunter to see how she and the kids were almost a couple of hours ago, but no response. I know she was going to her grandmother for a visit, but not her brothers. I hope the takeout Chinese food dinner works well for the kids. It’s a tough day for everyone, but also good. I just hope it doesn’t get worse for them – or Hunter. I just don’t see things going well for her right now.

When I dropped them off on Christmas Eve at 7pm, she had fallen asleep on the couch watching Bravo and her wine glass was already empty on the counter. If we ever get divorced I fear for those kids as she will start coming unglued similar to after we got married and she started her secret drinking then her affair…and no one to protect the kids….

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