1/15/15 – She Took Away All Her Toys

Amazing how quickly emotions changed. After picking my daughter up from daycare and driving over to pick up my son, my daughter is so excited to show me her room. She grabs my hand and pulls me up the stairs to show me – an empty room holding a bed, a dresser, and the cubbies from Target holding a few books.

– Where are your toys?

– Mom took them all away because I wasn’t listening and didn’t get dressed after shower like she wanted.

Then she leads me by the hand to mom’s room and through the closet to where all of her toys are. Even the big, four foot tall doll house that was originally in the front room. All stacked up and put away.

Then I tell her that wasn’t right. It’s ok to put a toy in time out if your not playing with it correctly, or if you are intentionally playing with it and not following instructions, but the whole thing?

She has done that several times in the past to both kids, but not recently. She tells me it’s ok because mom will give them back to her one day.

As I get her to walk away (my son is downstairs yelling to leave) she shows me the Lego set that mom gave her on one of the dressers.

– It was mom’s when she was a kid. She put it together and gave it to me along with her stuffed animals. She will give them back to me soon.

As I walk out I notice some of the shot glasses that we used to collect when we went to airports. If we went together we would each pick out something. If we went apart we would buy them for the other person. The only time she didn’t do that was when she was traveling with Chris and cheating on me.

Looking through them she was very selective in what she put out and what she didn’t. Obviously she left some for me. She put the ones from Paris (were we got engaged) next to ones from Chicago and Boston. I can’t recall who or when the Chicago one came from. I think the Boston was from her high school boyfriend. Maybe they were from the trip where she first started cheating on me. It set me off some.

Then I see our trip to the Grand Canyon and Sedona. Glasses I got her from my trip to Seattle. The ceramic bell from Atlanta I got her (my southern bell), and the shot glass from New Orleans she got me. Cherry picked from her memory of favorite trips or prettiest glasses. I’m guessing a lot of the old and ugly ones are in a box for me somewhere. She obviously had nothing to do last weekend. Now that I think about it the Chicago must have been from me since it’s my taste. She gets touristy stuff. I get the more refined images. Must be why most of the ones she kept I bought.

The rest of the night went fine after the discussion with the kids in the car that what mom did wasn’t right. My son goes into too much detail of Hunter yelling and out of control. I’m sure part of it is the stress from work and me pushing the dissolution. Still told them that wasn’t right, and that if she didn’t apologize she should. (she didnt)

When it’s time to pick up the kids Hunter is late which is unusual. She is usually right on time. I get the kids ready a few minutes early so that it’s a quick transition. That is a hassle because my daughter wants more attention and help with her shoes. I finally tell them that I am getting them ready so that I don’t have to see or talk to mom. I don’t what her to say anything mean and I don’t want to be mean and yell like last week. That gets their heads in gear.

I walk into the kitchen when Hunter gets there and she asks if everyone said goodbye to me. They say yes but she makes them do it again. On the way out I hear this “have a good night.”. Strange tone. Mix of angry, sadness, and mocking. I’m not sure how my text of “I only want to communicate via text or email right now” doesn’t translate to her.

My sister is right. She doesn’t have anyone else to really talk to so she will continue trying with me. I’m sure Hunter has been dishing it to her brother about me, but not the truth about what she has said or done to start it. Then again I’m the one who is in control of my emotions.

At least the tax estimates are done and she sent over the changes to the MSA yesterday and I have a couple of easy days at work to get myself ready for busy season. Just got to keep moving forward with my plan and not giving in to negative emotions. The more positive I can stay for my myself and in front of the kids the more they will eventually see the truth. And the truth will set you free.

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