1/26/15 – One Final Edit to the MSA

Used some of my free time to review the updated MSA. Not as much of an emotional reaction as I thought, but still something there. Maybe it’s because I woke up at 3am with Hunter and Chris fucking in my head. I thought I was over that, but I’m guessing it will be a while before that goes away. Maybe it’s because things went well on Saturday.

Funny to think how great I thought she was Saturday night and now not so much. Not sure why. What I do know is that I am still shocked at how long we talked for – and more her than me. When I first look at my phone it’s 9:24 (almost two hours from 7:45) and then it’s 12:30 last call and shutting the place down. Even funnier was some young girl who looked around Joy a couple of times and smiled at me. My date caught me once and looked at her – couldn’t see the look she gave her. Not that it matter I’m not interested in 20 something’s with daddy issues. That’s what Hunter was about and I’m not into that drama anymore.

My date is fun and nice and friendly, and she believes in God and goes to church and seems to have the same ideas on relationships as I do. We will see how the second date goes – assuming there is one. I’ll find out tonight. If not, it’s nice to start getting those new “firsts” out of the way. First good date – first new kiss – first trying to figure out babysitting. That will still need work, but I will just have to make it happen.  Funny how much I liked her when I was drinking, and not as much the next day.  Then again the kiss was nothing to write home about.

It will be interesting when and what Hunter comes up with on the new MSA version, if anything and if it’s today or a week or two from now. I was nice to her all weekend and spoke with her nicely in front of the kids. Even reiterated that to the kids, that no matter what someone has done to you God still wants you to be nice. Mainly to my daughter because she loves girl drama and it will not serve her well to be mean like her brother. With her weight and her mouth she will be ostracized for decades and there is nothing I can do because Hunter won’t put her in counseling and won’t separate the kids. Sad that those three are going to seriously wreck each other. What a family where the brother is always threatening death, the daughter alienates the kids in the community and the cat lady mom takes away all of the toys for not getting dressed fast enough.

And Hunter continues to lie to everyone about the reason for the divorce and her past. It will be a sad day when all of this comes out as it always does. The moms at my daughter schools are already talking about it. I’m sure because of the last party where the one mom needed someone to talk to about things.

I guess it’s good for Hunter to spin what she can and it will be healthy for her soul if she can get to the point where she can be open and honest about everything to those who need to hear it. Only then will I know she has owned her past and made peace with it. Until then she will continue to buy shit for the house and clean it. Man it was spotless this morning. Can’t imagine doing all that cleaning every week. She never did it when we were together. I guess she never had time to.

She emailed me back right away. Funny that two of her three suggestions were already in the document. Obviously she didn’t read it, but just wanted to respond asap. Wonder why she waited for me as she always does. She never initiates.

Then she also showed me her spreadsheets for health care costs and parties, etc. Sad that she needs to deplete the kids savings accounts for their parties. Kind of like the money her dad gave us for Christmas throughout the years. She pocketed it and spend it on herself. Thankfully this will all soon be over and I will get a quarterly bill for medical costs and I will continue to pay for my stuff without reimbursement. She makes more than double me and still nickel and dimes me. Makes me want to fight for the spousal and child support, but need to just let it go.

She lies, cheats, fakes pregnancies, fakes a suicide, emails his wife, intentionally derails my career for hers and I get the privilege of giving up $35k a year in supports so she can make me pay her $500 to a $1,000 a year. The worst part is she spends $1,000 a month on clothes and face creams a month on herself, but buys all of the kids clothes on sale at Target or the outlet mall. I doubt she will spend $1,000 a piece on the kids clothes. And I pay $700 more a month in rent for a crappy apartment while she gets a 2,800+ square foot house. Life obviously isn’t fair, cheaters win, and life goes on. Maybe I will just be happier than her and that will be worth it all.

My reply back could be described as “snarky.” Funny I used that word last week and Hunter used it later that day as well to me. Strange how I never use that word and we both use it the same day. There must be something to be said for the connections people have who have been together that long. I don’t remember her ever using the word either (as I don’t). I told her I don’t keep those accurate a records because God provides, but here are some estimates and let me know what you feel I owe so that you are properly reimbursed. I’m sure it pissed her off, but I know she was trying to piss me off. She constantly tells me she doesn’t want my money but if she can get $200 bucks from me then better.

At least I am feeling happier and stronger today. With this one last change to the MSA this could be signed and filed in less than two weeks. I’m sure it will be sad and happy in the same way, but at least it will be the end of a bad choice and possibly the start of something better.

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