2/4/15 – Finally Some Therapy For the Kid

It appears that she has started the same shit with my son as she did this summer.  She texted me last night that Son doesn’t want me to take him to the party on Sunday because of last Wednesday night.  Based on the notes from the summer she would text me something a bit benign but then document some major issue or video of him.  There were points in time where Hunter was having my son draw pictures of me hurting him and crying and writing that I was hurting him.

As much as she would push and smack and restrain and grab and yell and scream and threaten and slam doors there is never a single picture like that of her from him.  Reason: she puts him up to it to show evidence to others. Debbie won’t even look me in the eyes anymore. She puts all this shit in his little mind and it travels around runs a muck to protect him from getting kicked out of her house. She knows what she is doing is wrong, but as we saw with Chris she will cross any moral or ethical line she needs to extract revenge on those of us who leave her and know her truth. Tony Robbins put it best “people who do whatever they have to in order to fulfill their needs.  Even if it unhealthy.”

I just can’t believe we are here again.  What is she going to do when she drives me away from the kids to prevent me from going to jail and then my family withdraws our help and support of her?

She will play the victim card again.  Just like she always does.  I am losing it thinking that she is doing this, but in such a monstrous manner. I never took her insanity seriously.  I just kept thinking how do I heal myself as if I was walking away from someone normal but messed up. Right now she truly is proving that she is much closer to Amazing Amy than I had expected.  I ended up taking half a pan to go to sleep because my head was reeling with figuring out how to survive away from her and the kids.  Find a way to go “on the lamb,” but still maintain some sensibility.

The real problem will be child support.  She will completely fuck me and put me in the poor house with it.  And although I know she keeps talking about she doesn’t want my money she is more than happy to constantly give me bills for medical, parties, etc even after she says she won’t. As long as it isn’t in writing she can’t get it thrown in her face when she doesn’t honor the agreement. Just like her little book of her and Chris.

As usual, the rules of life do not apply to Hunter.  She can lie, cheat, steal, fuck up marriage after marriage, and life after life, and as long as she gets what she wants (to not be alone and not be poor) she will be happy.  I’m sure she is starting to pretend to have fun now that its almost over, but wait until she starts dating again and all hell will break loose when she gets dumped and used and abused.  She sees life as nothing but money and she plays that game.

When we started this process she kept saying why would she do this again and give up her money. Even the money I earned was hers and what she earned was hers, and now the world is rewarding her for her infidelity and insanity.  My poor kids to have to grow up in that house.  At some time I won’t be able to stay around because of her if this insanity continues and they will be left completely alone in that hell house.  The darkness that will soon consume the three of them is unfathomable, but unless God has a interventionist plan there is nothing left that I can do.

Now I don’t feel well and work – sweating in my office and I have the kids tonight. Hunter has PTA so there is no way I can get out of it, and I’m really starting to wonder why I am dating J. She is always out with a lot of other guys. I’m guess I’m learning the other side of the equation. If all you ever do is date without a relationship it may be fun but not satisfying. We shall see on Friday, but if she isn’t starting to think about something a little less open ended soon then what’s the point. I’d rather stay home or go see a movie than throw money to make out with someone. There are better pursuits than that.

Thankfully Hunter’s Q is done so she can now turn her attention to the therapy for my son that we have talked about for months. The last few days have been a flurry of emails related to the kids. Must be her BPD going into overdrive and she has this need to constantly reach out for connection. It’s been a long time since I have gotten this many emails from her. I’m sure the texts have stopped on some of it so she has “documentation” that she is taking the lead on this stuff. I just need to let it go or I will end up controlled by her forever. Let Chris be the warning sign of what happens when you get involved with Hunter.

I talk with my son and the reason he wants Hunter to take him to the party is wants more 1:1 time. He says he just wants to spend more time with mom without his sister but doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. I tell him that fine and I suggest Hunter and I switch to give him that.

And she spoke with Sons teacher tonight at PTA. And has a lot to talk about. Yeah – all these great ideas. All coming from the first of the year when she has time and wants to take the kids away so that I don’t tell people the truth about her. I will keep her shit secret for a little longer, but not much longer. There will be a day of reckoning for all of us.

When she comes over tonight to pick up the kids she says she is ok with that if its in the best interest of the kids. But again – not in writing or a text.

Obviously she is getting versed from someone. Documentation, notes, email after email only in the last couple of weeks. Not only is it right before the signing of the MSA, but the obvious motive is to hide behind the children. I bet her mom did the same thing. At this stage I don’t know why I would ever get married.

And work is irritating the crap out of me. This whole check in and check out doesn’t fly with me. If I leave at 5 I’m leaving early but they don’t get in the office until 10:30 and that’s acceptable. Totally understand why they can’t get a tax practice going. Plus they do estimates for less than $100. I don’t know how that works. Ridiculous!

More emails to friends club and about school. Either she is establishing something for the courts or diving into the role of mom because she has no one left. Not sure which. I would like to say I would fight her in court, but I know if I do it will mean a lifetime of battles with her. It’s her only connection to me now and her constant reminder that I know her truth and she will punish me for it forever.

She will use child support to bankrupt me and punish me for knowing the truth. I may not be someone who would actually kill themselves but she certainly makes wish I was.

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