2/9/15 – No More Notes

The weekend went well. Had a lot of fun. Played with the kids. Met a few new people and enjoyed learned more about people that I had briefly met before. Another person on my mind, and more of the other. Thankfully, good distractions in my personal life.

Hunter has been overly smiley and pleasant. I’m thinking she was surprised by my parents picking up the kids that she went a little scared. I got several texts from her Saturday evening (before 8pm) about when, and more importantly where, to pick up Son on Sunday. If she is dating then she is hiding it. But I felt like the questions were more directed at finding information about me than divulging her life. Than again she has always kept her life secret because how she lives it is wrong and she knows it. Probably more than anyone, she will keep the lies and manipulation going until she has a steady boyfriend then she will be a vengeful bitch to me again. All because she can’t get help for her problems. What a sad little life.

When she dropped off Son on Sunday she walked in, but didn’t completely close the door behind her. She talked a little about how well son did, and her eyes darted all over the room while she spoke. She almost never looked at me. Not sure what she was looking for unless a sign that someone was over that weekend. Funny to see how interested she gets in my life when she thinks I am dating.

Then again I still have these issues with her to, which is why I need to figure out a new game plan with her until the MSA is signed. Hopefully that will be this week.

I looked through her drawer today and she has moved her notes. She either figured out I looked or read the blog. Either way the blog is complete down and her notes are out of my site. I guess I shouldn’t care. The worst thing she can say is I don’t always answer the calls on Tuesday and the kids don’t call on Sunday’s. I was nothing but pleasant to her.

She even uploaded photos without me asking. Which was nice since when I ask nicely she writes notes that I am demanding. I now take pictures of the texts so that she can’t selectively erase certain ones and manipulate the courts. I just pray she finds a way to leave me alone, so we can just coparent the kids and live out own lives.

I should also stop worrying about a job. It seems to always be on my mind. Need to find a way to emotionally walk away from everyone and everything and see what is really important and vital. Otherwise I will be like others who are so wrapped up in the battle that they lose their life to the war. Seeing people divorced two and three times because they pick the same people scare me. Maybe An was right, there are friends and prospects in these groups and there is no need to put labels on things. No commitment – no attachment. Just enjoy the moment. I never thought I would get to a place like this, but maybe I need to date more this summer and really see what is out there for me. Hopefully by then Hunter will have found another crutch to lean on.

Hunter was good enough to Skype later than usual tonight and send me pictures of the prize my son got at school for good behavior. I sent her a text telling her she didn’t need to call on Tuesdays, and if she wanted me to call on Sunday’s to let me know. No response.

Even if she is making up shit in her little note book, at least I have everything I need to show I have been a good little soldier for the Borderline.

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