I took A out for a drink last night. She has a heart of gold after everything she has gone through. She keeps that side hidden, and I can sense her hesitation on really dating. I’m sure she has been hurt more than I can imagine. It’s funny how the universe has served up two women who are almost exactly alike on the inside and very different on the outside (physically and demeanor), but both are very much at the exact same stage as I am. Interesting how well the universe or God reflects back to us who and where we are in others. Also interesting how more attractive women are coming to me, but they don’t interest me nearly as much because I see how hurt they are and how other guys drop over them. Obviously I am not the kind of guy to troll for the weak women like Hunter is – like Chris did. I truly am a very different person than they are and although she will make more money I’m pretty sure she will never truly enjoy her life and I’m sure Chris doesn’t even care anymore. Hunter is just a old and scary nightmare that he probably never thinks of anymore. I wish I was that way.
I woke up Monday night and 3 am from a dream where Hunter and I were back in time but knew what had happened down this path and she was late from work and I asked her where she was at and she told me she had someone cover for her and she met up with Chris. And I asked her how she could do that knowing what happens and she just shrugged. She couldn’t help it. And no one could because she is emotionally unhealthy and so was I. I’m sure I still am, but at least I am trying to find my way and my truth. It feels like either God is guiding me and restoring things in my life. I hope I am right, and I hope I have the strength to follow his plan or at least have the sense to figure it out.
The attorneys said the MSA is ready for signature. Just need a check and time to sign things.