4/22/15 – She Is Pissed

I can tell when she is pissed, and yesterday she was furious. It’s been a long time since I have seen her that way and thankfully I got to walk to my car and drive away. I knew going through the IEP meeting with my son would be tough for her since we disagreed on a small item and since she was the only one with issues and everyone else was together with me she kept her mouth shut. She threw the battery I asked for across the table without saying a word in advance after the meeting was over. 

The real issue was the in-home family therapy. She talked after we left the building about possibly alternating the home environment that the services would be provided at, and I told her it should be at her place. Eventually I would be moving south and then I would only have he kids every other weekend, and she blew an internal head gasket. The face twisted and contorted and then she turned around and walked away. She didn’t say a word. As I drove off she was still in the 4Runner. I’m guessing she was calling her brother and mom. It’s what she does now every time she doesn’t get what she wants. She bitches to them in keeping with the distortion campaign. I am a controlling and manipulative husband who didn’t let her live her life because I didn’t want her fucking other guys. I’m such an asshole for believing spouses should be monogamous. 

I hate having to walk away from the kids, but I can’t keep helping her out anymore. She lied (and continues to lie) to me and everyone around us. She cheated on me. Faked pregnancies, faked a suicide, and used me until she had the house, kids, and cash to dump me so she could “find love.” I’m guessing love is running as far away from her as possible. It’s certainly not going to activily run towards her. 

A is the same way. Now she is making snide remarks on out group’s website. I don’t say anything; just let it ride. I know I will take some abuse from having dated her and calling it off. It was a mistake I knew about in advance, but let “chemistry” guide the way. Now I get to pay my penance for that error. At least I learn from these things. Besides, if she ever gets too out of control in sure there is a picture of her stalker poetry around somewhere that will more than prove my point. 

I also dumped the book club and a few other people. It’s really about getting fewer, but higher quality people in my life. It’s really about finding what works for me and allow others to like or hate for their own reasons. I need to be away from Hunter and she doesn’t like it. Oh well, this is what happens when you spend your life using people you eventually have to pay for the mess you make. Sins are the start of your suffering. I’m trying to live a better life with better quality people. Less suffering, more joy and peace. 

It’s not easy to walk away from the kids, but staying around in an unhealthy and potentially career destroying relationship (again) with Hunter would only make matters worse in the long run. Besides, if she gets any thinner she won’t live 5 years and I need to have my life fully grounded when that happens to take care of the kids. And even if things don’t work out at the new place it will give me a better launching pad for something new. Nothing but upside potential and minimal downside risk. 

I know Hunter is going to be pissed on Saturday when I suggest we work out the 2/3 day alternating weekends now while I’m still around to get the kids used to it. She gonna flip again – at least the kids and I will be eating dinner when she is cleaning the fucking house!

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