Today wasn’t the greatest day, but I did work out and am updating the blog and it’s menu system. Also going through all the old stuff and adding headlines, and removing posts that don’t add any value.
I pick up the kids and hang out after dinner. Right before they leave my son tells me that they went to a strangers house yesterday. Hunter made them put a dinner together and eat it in the guys garage. It’s a new church group. I’m guessing it’s either single parents or a mixed group since my daughter told me there were 5 guys and 4 girls there. Why can’t she just do a women’s group? Why does she have to constantly do mixed groups?
When I asked for a group it was a men’s group. My son thinks she is doing it to find a boyfriend. I’m guessing that is true. It’s unfortunate that this is what it has come down to. She is going to use religion and my money and my life to make her’s better and I know my children will suffer.
Just like her step-dad who made her eat her dinner alone in her bedroom when she was in high school since she was so distributive to the relationship with her mom, I am sure she will eventually do the same to my son.
All I can think of is where is God for me? Why does she get to lie, cheat, steal, and destroy my life and now she gets another second chance? Where is my money and second chance? Where is my restitution? She promised to pay me back what she stole from me, but she never will. Where the hell is God to bring retribution against her fallen daughter?
I told my son that if there was a God he would have killed Hunter, and as such I don’t think there is a God anymore. There doesn’t seem to be any sense in any of this anymore. I think what made it worse was the gal I was going to ask out is already in a long-term relationship. The only single women who are my age and not narcissistic weigh more than I do. Not that the looks matter, but it’s hard to go out and do things in the world if you don’t have the energy to do so.
If there is a God, I would hope that he takes away my anger and pain. Or makes up for the atrocity that has befallen me. I know Hunter isn’t obeying God’s laws. She still lies and manipulates, and the fact that she won’t pay me what she owes me from the dissolution is technically stealing. That doesn’t seem to matter to God. I am seriously wondering if there is a God, and if not then what the fuck is all this pain for?