Strange reality. I like some classes, and others are ok. I’m sure it is the right thing to do. I sent in my application for an internship at Saddleback San Diego. I hope it comes through. I would really like a shot of positivity from God soon.

It’s hard to be broke, and still taking my daughter extra days so that she doesn’t have to spend that much time with the ex. My daughter doesn’t really like her and hates her boyfriend.

Last week at church she cried twice because I didn’t come when she thought. So much abandonment issues with the divorce in her. I’m sure her mom’s boyfriend who is now “part of the family” is getting to her as well. Last week she told me she would kill herself if she had to live with mom for too long. That’s a hard thing to hear from a six year old girl.

I feel lonely a lot of the time. I miss my kids. I don’t have a lot of friends after walking away from some at 3040. No girlfriend and no income. Even if I get the internship, they don’t pay people.

I just have to keep thinking that God is putting me through the trials for a reason. I still can’t get Clay to sit down and talk about the singles group at Saddleback or a small group. I know he spoke about needing a couple more. Not sure what he is waiting for.

There are a few older people who are single and are hoping that I can bring something together. I know the one gal that I’m interested in isn’t interested in me, but she is single and it would be good to have her on board. I’m guessing she has a boyfriend since she wasn’t around last weekend.

We shall see…

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