I have this strange desire to take off again. I know the kids in Seminary are nice, but I’m not one of the crowd. They hang out and talk and I sit back and study. I have a lot of things to do, and I don’t have a stay-at-home wife to take care of the kids for me. The single guys have nothing better to do then find friends to do things with.

I can see why Patrick never returned here. You feel alone some of the time. With him I’m sure his alopecia and outspoken attitude may him a little more of a target. Then again I’m sure he didn’t have the grades either.

Right now I dream of selling everything and traveling for a year or two. Ben said it would be healing to just leave Heidi behind for a while. She has become some arrogant and toxic to the children and myself. I see the kids breaking down and she does not seem to care. All she cares about is the loser boyfriend she has to pay to have sex with her. What a horrible situation to be in for her? To know that a good man will never want to be with you the rest of your life so you have to pay some loser to have sex with you.

Both of my kids told me they were smarter than Chris a couple of weeks ago. That is a big thing for a six year old to know she is smarter than a 46 year-old man. Heidi told he she has a birthday party to go to. I’m sure she will be throwing it for Chris. It’s not like he has the house or money to be able to pay for it himself.

At what point in time does Chris realize what a POS he is? Using a woman for money and sex and knowing it upfront. It must kill him to know what a loser he is. I can’t imagine that horrible of a life to become a gigolo. I guess stupid people do stupid things. I guess being a gigolo is better than being broke.

Maybe it really is time to travel the world before I am too old to ever do this again? What a grand adventure it would be, filled with highs and lows. What a great learning ground!

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