The church had a couple who was moving to Washington State and needed help packing. So I spent a few hours yesterday and today helping. Watching the amount of stuff they had reminded me of how much I have to do still. I can get the small things, but I need to be able to clean-up and pack stuff everyday for the next month or so. Otherwise I will be just like them!

I sent Heidi the custody schedule based on the alternating 1st and 3rd weekends with holidays. This year it is reversed for my benefit. I know she is going to throw a head gasket, but she doesn’t get to own my life. Besides she still hasn’t even acknowledged me moving yet – after two weeks. I’m not sure if she is stalling for some reason or if she really is afraid of me leaving. I know she should be happy with me out of her hair, but she doesn’t get to control me anymore. Those days are over!

I’m now even wondering if she will respond at all. I’ve been telling her for months it was going to be this way. We have no consistent track record of custody so ever year is a little different. She will just have to learn to live in the ambiguity. Not her strong suit, but just because Chris is using her for money, and she is using him to not be alone has nothing to do with me. Chris can call his ex-wife and revise their arrangement.

Funny the more I think about leaving San Diego the happier I become. I know it will be a lot of work, and money, and some rebuilding efforts that I have not had to deal with in a while. At the same time it is that point in my life for a reboot. I can no longer stand to be down here away from friends, and opportunities that San Diego cannot provide. Besides there are way too many crazy people down in San Diego. It must be the advertising! People see that they have nothing but shit to deal with in his/her life so they decide to move to San Diego and start over. The funny thing is he/she will eventually fuck up their lives again. Crazy does not change without effort. The saddest part is knowing that my ex-wife will eventually die in a couple of years with her anorexia. She is getting to be at a very unhealthy weight.

I hope God puts a very wonderful and caring woman in my life to help with these two kiddos. Otherwise it will be one crazy life for me too!

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