It’s hard to may headway in a group were so many are friends with Joy and her boyfriend. I here them talk about other events that I’m not invited to, and they don’t even care that it may hurt my feelings. Such a strange reality to sit next to people and make small talk with people that don’t like you. Not for anything you’ve done, but the lies Joy and her boyfriend have told about me.

These people have no idea why they don’t have a pastor at 3040. I am not even sure they care. I think most of them pretend to be Christian for the social group, but they do not act in a manner consistent with the faith. They are very drama-filled and exclusive. If you don’t fit the mold they throw you away.

Strange to sit around and know that I’m not part of the group. I am sure I won’t go next month. I don’t see a point anymore. All the bullshit and disrespect is something that I don’t need in my life. Especially from people who pretend to be Christian. Jesus was very inclusive. 3040 is anything but.

Sad to see so many people dislike me for not what I am, but what others say I am. And they wonder why I’m not friendly with them anymore. Saddest part is I was the only person talking with Buz about improving the group. Everyone else only cares about the social venues. Something that I am not included in.

Maybe I should just walk away from all this shit. I’m not sure anything will ever change.

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