I have a list of things to do everyday. Read, work out, languages, stretch (fallen left arch from a fractured fibula), and some others things. I have gotten a couple of my old clients to recur and a new client from last year. I will reach out to another one or two to see if they are interested. It would be nice to have a little more work during busy season so I’m not so broke.

I got on the leadership team for Singles at Saddleback. Not sure where yet, but it would be nice to plug in for a while. Once I get an internship I will have to bounce. Hopefully I can make a few friends there and stay in touch once I am at Westminster.

I sit and wonder why am I so lazy. I know god gave me this time to get through all the reading, but I’m having a hard time of it. Early church history is not my favorite subject, but better to get through the 10,000 pages now and not during the semester.

I also know it will be a financial struggle with all the driving. Burning through this cat, buying the service and warranty, and a second car at the end is a financial burden. That on top of paying my own health insurance. Plus the cost of the business. That all eats into my profit. At least I can keep applying for jobs and get the small amount of money from my ex.

She uses me for a decade and when she starts making more money she throws me away. Tells me she was only using me to raise the kids while she worked on her career. Takes me for $1.2 million. At least I know she will never get into heaven. Biblical restitution is something Jesus always spoke about. God is more important than money. In fact money can be one of the biggest hurdles to the next life. If you feel you master your own life you are certainly not giving anything to anyone else of real value. Not the way God wants it.

At least I seem to be the living sacrifice. Not sure if I will go to Wine Club in two weeks. Not sure I liked all the attitude from a group that can’t find a single person to be their pastor. At what point in time do they decide that they are not what they think they are. Their last Pastor was a pedophile, and everyone thinks it is Matt’s fault that they can’t find a new Pastor. The truth is they are the problem. Adultery in the center of a ministry. So much drama and insanity that no one wants to be around them.

Today I will send out a couple of emails to Buz and Tague. I don’t think Tague reads them, but there is nothing wrong with sending them. Even if it is just God training me and my heart. Buz will be about internships and Westminster. I don’t think he will respond, but maybe he will keep me in the back of his mind one day. He knows a lot of people as well.

I just hope this road I’m going down doesn’t let me starve to death on the streets. I hope God has a plan to provide before I get there.

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