I find it amazing that Jennifer said I’m the drama. All this from an organization that calls itself Christian, but worships adultery, fornication, lies, and deception. Buz stopped working with 3040 for all the drama and she has the nerve to say I’m the issue. Needless to say I unfriended a few people in 3040. I can’t be waiting around for people who are actually hypocrites and Pharisees to be nice.

So much of the San Diego Christian community seems to be upside down. Maybe it’s just Calvary Chapel I have issues with. The lead pastors seem to have a lot of information, but their world is with more services in a church than Christians.

I guess it’s true, the world hates you when you are not part of it. Seeing how many people claim a religion that they don’t practice is sad. Better to just be honest with yourself and say the weeds of the world are more important than the truth.

I hate getting on my soapbox but after so many years of being thrown away in San Diego, I would like a little reprieve from the discard pile. I still can’t seem to understand why my Father wants me down here? Everyone hates me and I doubt I will get what I need as an internship to graduate.

Maybe this is all in my head? Maybe I’m late onset schizophrenic? Maybe I should just travel for a year and spend my money like it’s the last year of my life.

I know my kids need me so I stick around. There is a part of me that daydreams about being free from my kids and Heidi and 3040 and San Diego.

Maybe my next mission in life is losing the weight and travel after seminary. I have enough in my 401(k) and selling the condo I could travel for a long time unless there is a global collapse.

I still keep thinking about the Catherine. The spirit said I would marry her. Maybe I’m just insane, but I doubt I will ever see her again. If I did I doubt she would talk with me after all the lies of Joy, Gina, and Karsten.

What a fucked up life I’m leading…

One thought on “2/1/18 – Kicked Out Of Wine Club

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