I’ve been streaming the series the last couple of days. I know it’s not the most appropriate show to watch, but Evil Dead was interesting and I loved Army of Darkness. Funny to see a new crew and Old Ash going offer demons again.

I know I’m just wasting time this weekend. I am sure I am just waiting until there is nothing left inside of me to care about existing anymore. All of the sermons at Saddleback have been about persevering. I wish I knew how to. Right now I’m just miserable. No money, no girlfriend, no dates on the way. Practically no friends anymore. All I want is for Heidi to die of her anorexia so I can take care of my kids.

My daughter can’t read, or do math. I’m sure she will flunk first grade and that will be a horrific event in her life. She is smart, just a little lazy and her mom could care less about helping her.

It’s such a disgrace that my children and basically ignored by their mom so she can spend time at work and with her boyfriend. The boyfriend who cheats on her, and uses her for money and sex.

The sad part is watching her slowly die. She can’t seem to exorcise her past and the related guilt associated with it. I know at some point in time she will die, or get institutionalized for her problem.

Horrible to see my children suffer because of it.

I can’t change the world, just trying to change me and raise the kids in the right way. I hope my Father blesses me for the work otherwise all three is us will starve to death soon.

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