I have my kids this weekend. Funny Heidi gave me an Easter gift. My favorite candy. I’m not sure why? She is such a monster for money, but there is always this little gift at Christmas, Easter and my birthday. I’m wondering why…

She won’t pay me what she owes me for the dresser ($300). She won’t give me my tools, my books, or DVD’s. Yet she will try and buy my love with candy. I will never understand her. I guess I can’t.

She fucks some other guy, but buys me little gifts. As if that will make up for the affairs, faked pregnancies, and faked suicides. She has no sense of people other than to manipulate them. She is good at it, and stupid people are everywhere in this world. I know was an idiot for a while. All I want is to be left alone, and for her to pay me what she has stolen from me $1.2 million. The house I bought her is over $1.1 million now. A good deal more than the $765k I paid for it.

Does she think she deserves this? After all of the broken dreams and marriages she destroyed she deserves nothing in this world. She is like Joy, just a little girl using her body and money to manipulate people. Nothing wonderful or electric inside her. Everything is dead in their souls. So sad to see these people pretend to be Christian when all they do is destroy. I guess Mammon is truly taking care of them both.

It would be nice if my Father desired what was stolen from me. Maybe it’s not to be right now. Maybe there is not a place for me to be restored to? Maybe the restoration will be someplace else?

Right now I will have to sell my condo and move to school to survive before I go broke. It’s a sad state of affairs knowing that I was the bread winner forever and she destroyed everything because of guilt. At some point in time I would like this all to end. All the lies, manipulation, and loneliness. At some point in time I would like to finally be free.

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