This is what is frustrating about Borderlines; they completely ignore anything that damages their ego. As long as they feel they are in control they can handle anything. Once they are knocked down they think they can ignore the world and no one will notice.
I’ve noticed that she cannot handle anything anymore. Things are easier with my kids because there is no stress. That won’t last for long. Soon she will realize that she isn’t getting the interviews she wants and things will go from bad to worse.
She acts like a Christian, but I haven’t seen my Biblical restitution for the 10 years she used me to raise the kids while she worked on her career or the $1.2 million she stole in the divorce. She told me she would pay me back, but that never happened. The whole time she knew she would divorce me after she started making more money. The entire time lying to me and never loved me so that I would take care of the kids and make more money.
Once she started making more she threw me away. It destroyed my life, but all Borderlines destroy every life they touch. They hate themselves so much that they destroy everything around them. At some point I will die and she will die and the evil inside her will cease to be. Until then I am in hell most of the time.
At some point in time I may have to give up the kids to be free. I would hate to do that since that will destroy my children, and if not they will destroy me.
I hope God has a plan and that I don’t starve to death. Right now I don’t see much of a future for me. No one to date, no friends in Orange County. At least I have an idea of where single people meet at a Calvary Chapel in Costs Mesa. There is also a place at.Mariner’s Church in Irvine.
Maybe I can meet people there that are Christians unlike NC3 and The Foundry where they never practice their religion. They just judge others and never see the hypocrisy in their own lives. Funny they all think they are Christians, but none ever act like it. Just judgment and hypocrisy.