I got some good advice this morning about everything going on in my life. It still frustrates me that Heidi is being so secretive. She isn’t even telling the kids. As my daughter said, “Mom would not come home and say pack up your rooms.” My reply was “yes she would.”

That’s the sad part for my kids. They will have to pick up and move all over the country for Heidi to continue to find work. Her anger is what is destroying her career. She cannot handle being part of an organization that doesn’t destroy the people below them. It’s how she was raised at home and at Arthur Andersen. She knows no other way. This means that the kids will continue to move just like Heidi did as a kid under a military umbrella. Except for this time, it will be for money. Nothing I can change about that.

All I cam think about is what will happen with the kids. She will be frustrated with raising them herself and she won’t be able to handle the stress. Then someone will get seriously hurt and all hell will break lose. My son thinks she will eventually kill him. That’s a small possibility, but soon he will be stronger than her and be able to defend himself. There will be nothing that she can do to him.

Besides she seems to be getting smaller again. The kids see it, and the whole time there is this reality that she seems to want to die. She has no interest in living anymore except for her boyfriend. And that will become non-existent when she moves.

What a messed up life I have led? I hope there is an end result better that near starvation and money issues. At some point in time , something has to give.

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