She won’t eat, and she won’t change. I keep telling her that she is unhealthy, but that’s not my concern. I told her today that if she died I would not take the kids to her funeral. She needs to eat or die. Either way I will have to adjust my life appropriately.

There is a time and a place for death and at 43 she is not ready to die yet. I cannot fathom what must be going on inside her head to want out of this life. I understand that she got fired from work for treating people poorly. I know she can’t find a job looking like death in the interview process.

There is a point in time where people check out and decide death is a better answer. For her it will not be. She is not forgiven, or loved by my Father or my Savior. She will reckon with hell in the afterlife. I wish she would get her shit together since I will end up taking care of the kids when she dies, and I don’t have the strength to make it all work right now.

I hope her heart changes and she figures out death is the worst of her plans. She needs to gain weight before she dies soon.

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