Now I’m starting to wonder if there is a God. He says he works out all things for my good, but I’m starting to doubt it. The enemy is in control of this world and it looks like I will starve to death if I can’t find a way out.
My daughter was crying on Thursday because I didn’t get the job. I missed class to see her gymnastics program, and now I’m late on a lot of stuff. I don’t think being at Westminister is for me. I need money and a place to live and without income, I’m screwed. I keep praying for Heidi to pass to make my life easy. I known I’m not supposed to, but that looks like the only way I shall survive. Otherwise, I will spend my savings on a condo and starve to death unless something comes out of nowhere.
I have thought that God is looking out for me. But it seems like the enemy is taking care of Heidi, but no one is looking out for me. I may have to move away from San Diego to find work. If that happens who will look after my kids. They will die with her.