I’m trying to figure out what all of this insanity really means. I found pictures of Heidi having sex with women, and I think she may be bisexual. The problem is that the insanity will continue until she dies. If she has a heart attack on the freeway, then everyone dies.

That’s my biggest fear is that I will be left alone in this world without my kids. I love them, but she uses them for money. She doesn’t even like my son, and she only pretends to like my daughter. One day they will all be gone and I will be left alone wondering what the hell happened to my life.

I know she is a Borderline and has no moral or ethical construct to develop into something amazing. If I want to send the pictures to her boss at EY she would be fired. Then maybe she would kill herself. She knows what it’s like to steal money from my kids and the repercussions for it. Like a black eye!

I hope at some point she does kill herself and doesn’t kill one of my kids. That’s the point, I love them and she doesn’t.

She started changing my blog again, and I threatened to leave the state if she did it again, and leave the kids with her full time. A fresh start for me in Austin. Maybe I can find some work there? There are a lot of tax jobs out there I just need to network with the right people to land one. I’ve been on my own for so long, that they think I can’t handle the stress of my job. Oh well, Heidi will eventually kill everyone in that house and I will be left alone unless she kills herself first. That would be the best plan. Keep my children safe.

The real problem with BPD’s is the narcissism that goes with them. They have no moral or ethical construct and they don’t care about anyone but themselves. That’s the dilemma. If she destroys herself then she will destroy my kids. If she cares so little about them she will destroy them from the inside out.

My daughter is going to be a histrionic, like Joy Houle. Always selfish, never loving or in control. She cheated on me, but she lies about it so people don’t know. That’s what histrionics do. They lie to cover up their failures.