12/6/17 – Wondering What To Do

Right now I’m sitting around and wondering what to do with my life. Saddleback told me that there would never be a position for me there. Biola hasn’t gotten back to me yet. I have not heard from the firm about an in-house interview.

The only thought running through my head is suicide.

Bald, overweight, unemployed people never make it in this world. I’m not even sure how to survive anymore. I used to have everything, but now Heidi has everything and I’m nothing. The world seems so unfair somedays.

She cheats, lies, faked pregnancies and suicides, and my life gets train wrecked. My business is stolen, my life is destroyed and no one seems to care. I guess that’s the way down. We fall and no one is around to hear it.

I’m not even sure hanging around for my kids is worth it. My daughter wants to live in that home, and now that Heidi has a babysitter for church group night everything seems to be going smoothly. I guess they don’t their father anymore.

Maybe it’s time to check out, and leave. There is no need to be here anymore. Even the kids don’t need me.

I guess no one does…