5/13/2019 – She Won’t Pay Me Child Support

As usual, money is more important to her that honesty. She cares about power and money more than anything. The agreement we signed stopped on March15, 2019.

So I stopped seeing the kids. Last night she prevented My daughter from calling. I’m sure the babysitter will let her call tonight. I hope she doesn’t make the babysitter stop my daughter from calling. It’s important that my daughter talk with me. She knows I love her more than her mom. Then again Borderlines don’t love anything. Their abuse is destructive, and she spends all the time away from the kids.

At some point in time she will die and maybe my son. I hope my daughter doesn’t die. I need her for love and support. She may be OCD, and that’s how her Histrionic manifests. I don’t care, I can fix it.

Heidi is a selfish bitch and if she doesn’t pay me the money she owes me I will make an appointment with Robyn and see where it leads. She owes me money and I want it all back – especially the $1.2 million she stole from me for ten years of my life!!!

3/24/19 – Heidi Had Sex With Five Guys After Her St Patrick’s Day Party

What a whore? I can’t believe she would do such a thing. I guess that’s the abuse that BPD’s like. It’s not a healthy choice since none of them wore condoms.

At some point in time she is going to get HIV and then kill both of my children. This is why I want to leave the state. In California, a child has a right to a sibling over the parent. I can see take both of them away from Heidi. She does not love them or wants them. She destroys the children by never being home. They have a better relationship with the babysitter then with there mom.

That’s the saddest part. She is going to die one day and kill both of my children. I don’t want to be around for that. She is going to get HIV and destroy both of my children. That’s the biggest problem! She does not love them and cannot stand them at all. She hates my children because they interfere with her abuse. That’s the saddest part of BPD. She destroys everything and keeps nothing whole.

2/4/19 – Thinking About Moving To Austin

There is a point in time where you really need a break from the insanity. My son ran off again yesterday for no reason at all. My daughter is turning into a Histrionic, and I don’t have many friends here in Escondido.

There is a time when healing is more important than now. Heidi is a whore who has pictures on porn sites and she doesn’t seem to care. I know she is a Borderline because having her boyfriend is more important than anything else in the world. She ignores my children and never is home during the week. She has church groups and yoga. Anything to get her to die sooner is welcome in my life.

I know she is anorexic and will die soon, but there is a point in time where the advice of my professional counselor comes in handy. Ben dated a Borderline as well, and finally gave up a great business for healing. Maybe it’s time I leave the state and let Heidi deal with the kids all on her own. I know Chris will drop her like a bomb so he can grab someone else.

I know she is cheating on him, and he is cheating on her. It’s a weird reality that they don’t seem to care. He dates her for money and sex, and she is a Borderline so she doesn’t want to be alone.

At some point in time I need to find peace in this life and serve God somehow. I don’t know when or where, but there is a Triune God and he desires my life for his glory. At some point in time I need to heal and leave this wonderful state for someplace where she cannot get to.

10/27/18 – Heidi works at EY

Now I’m starting to wonder if there is a God. He says he works out all things for my good, but I’m starting to doubt it. The enemy is in control of this world and it looks like I will starve to death if I can’t find a way out.

My daughter was crying on Thursday because I didn’t get the job. I missed class to see her gymnastics program, and now I’m late on a lot of stuff. I don’t think being at Westminister is for me. I need money and a place to live and without income, I’m screwed. I keep praying for Heidi to pass to make my life easy. I known I’m not supposed to, but that looks like the only way I shall survive. Otherwise, I will spend my savings on a condo and starve to death unless something comes out of nowhere.

I have thought that God is looking out for me. But it seems like the enemy is taking care of Heidi, but no one is looking out for me. I may have to move away from San Diego to find work. If that happens who will look after my kids. They will die with her.

11/2/18 – Heidi Is Changing My Blog’s Again

I told her that is she didn’t stop doing what she is doing I would take her to court and get her thrown in jail. I don’t think she cares. I think if she lost her job she would throw in the towel. She has gone completely mad by now, and certainly has no understanding of human decency. That’s why she changes everything I write. She is a monster of epic proportion, and I can’t feel that leaving the state will be necessary for me to heal.

She treats my children like shit, and they hate her for it. They can’t stand her when she calls the cops, or steals their money, or beats and chokes them, locks my daughter in her room, and throws away their toys. Her insanity is out of hand, which is why she has to buy her boyfriend. If she didn’t have money Chris would leave her for another women with money. All Heidi is a gold mine that Chris uses to stuff his own face.

8/20/18 – Heidi Won’t Pay Me $20

I buy my daughter a backpack for the new school year, and Heidi won’t pay me back for it. Typical of a Borderline they steal from everyone and destroy everything in their lives. She stole my son and daughters money and then hid fake bills in the piggy banks.

I just can’t understand why she won’t pay me. It’s her responsibility to pay for the school stuff, but since she is unemployed she is stealing from me and the kids. How sad is that? She can’t even do the right thing with me or the kids because she is selfish. Lost and alone and with no one wanting to be with her except for money and self. Things she freely gives away to not be alone right now.

There is something desperately tragic with her. She can’t keep a job, can’t find a new one and does not seem to care about my kids. One day she will die and I will either sue the estate or take over the trust with the kids. I hope they don’t die with her. That would be tragic. The fact that I have documentation or her anorexia is enough evidence to liquidate the estate if she kills my kids with her.

I can’t change her I can only change myself. One day things will be better, but I don’t see that happening soon. Nothing but tragedy in the future until something breaks for my benefit. Maybe that will never happen in my life?

4/21/18 – I Can’t Get Through To Heidi

She keeps telling the kids she loves them. Hey, they don’t feel it. My son hates her, and my daughter doesn’t trust her anymore. They both know that the house will be sold once she dies.

I tried to let Heidi know that we are all concerned about her continued weight loss. She does not see it. All she thinks about is making Chris happy. If he gets anything out of the estate that would be criminal in my mind. That money is for the kids and if she starves us all because she hates me then she will suffer greatly in hell

Biblical restitution is required for her to gain entry into heaven, but she refuses to pay me back the $1.2 million she stole from me and used me for over a decade while not loving me. Much less the tools, book or DVDs she stole as well. She has no moral construct and punishment is all she has left in her.

She buys her boyfriend and rents her kids out to the highest bidder just to have some time with Chris. Both my kids know she does not love them. Borderline’s don’t love they control, manipulate, and lie to keep things on the outside in order. There is no control inside their minds so everything is manipulating everyone they know through lies and deceit. It’s a sad world. I just hope I can meet someone that brightens my day to marry. Otherwise, it will a long and painful life.

Hopefully, God will write my name on someone’s heart and her name on mine.