5/13/2019 – She Won’t Pay Me Child Support

As usual, money is more important to her that honesty. She cares about power and money more than anything. The agreement we signed stopped on March15, 2019.

So I stopped seeing the kids. Last night she prevented My daughter from calling. I’m sure the babysitter will let her call tonight. I hope she doesn’t make the babysitter stop my daughter from calling. It’s important that my daughter talk with me. She knows I love her more than her mom. Then again Borderlines don’t love anything. Their abuse is destructive, and she spends all the time away from the kids.

At some point in time she will die and maybe my son. I hope my daughter doesn’t die. I need her for love and support. She may be OCD, and that’s how her Histrionic manifests. I don’t care, I can fix it.

Heidi is a selfish bitch and if she doesn’t pay me the money she owes me I will make an appointment with Robyn and see where it leads. She owes me money and I want it all back – especially the $1.2 million she stole from me for ten years of my life!!!

3/5/19 – Still Thinking About Austin

Kansas is married, and she doesn’t like me. I saw her two days ago, and she had her husband speed up so I wouldn’t know where they went.

I think Austin is the best option for me. My son called a couple of times last night, but I was already asleep. I think Heidi tried to hurt him. If that is the case, then I have no choice but to take him with me. That’s not fair to him.

There is always an issue with Heidi. She doesn’t care about herself or others. She just cares about herself and her insanity. She doesn’t love anyone but herself and never will like anyone else, but herself. She is always trying to destroy others and never tho is about anyone else but herself. She is a destructive force that knows no love, compassion, or mercy for anyone. One day she will die, and things will end over their.

They will be my children and no one will love them the way that I do. That is the one thing I have that they don’t get from Heidi. ❤️

At some point in time, I need to leave this insanity behind me and watch the world from a distance. There will always be a place for me in this world. Just not in So Cal.

2/26/19 – I Sit At VW Services

I’m trying to figure out what all of this insanity really means. I found pictures of Heidi having sex with women, and I think she may be bisexual. The problem is that the insanity will continue until she dies. If she has a heart attack on the freeway, then everyone dies.

That’s my biggest fear is that I will be left alone in this world without my kids. I love them, but she uses them for money. She doesn’t even like my son, and she only pretends to like my daughter. One day they will all be gone and I will be left alone wondering what the hell happened to my life.

I know she is a Borderline and has no moral or ethical construct to develop into something amazing. If I want to send the pictures to her boss at EY she would be fired. Then maybe she would kill herself. She knows what it’s like to steal money from my kids and the repercussions for it. Like a black eye!

I hope at some point she does kill herself and doesn’t kill one of my kids. That’s the point, I love them and she doesn’t.

She started changing my blog again, and I threatened to leave the state if she did it again, and leave the kids with her full time. A fresh start for me in Austin. Maybe I can find some work there? There are a lot of tax jobs out there I just need to network with the right people to land one. I’ve been on my own for so long, that they think I can’t handle the stress of my job. Oh well, Heidi will eventually kill everyone in that house and I will be left alone unless she kills herself first. That would be the best plan. Keep my children safe.

The real problem with BPD’s is the narcissism that goes with them. They have no moral or ethical construct and they don’t care about anyone but themselves. That’s the dilemma. If she destroys herself then she will destroy my kids. If she cares so little about them she will destroy them from the inside out.

My daughter is going to be a histrionic, like Joy Houle. Always selfish, never loving or in control. She cheated on me, but she lies about it so people don’t know. That’s what histrionics do. They lie to cover up their failures.

2/7/19 – Still Missing My Kids

It’s a sad day when you realize that your kids are not in your life. One day they are here, and the next they are gone. The saddest part is their Mom never stays home on the weekdays. She is too busy trying to make friends and always is more involved in her boyfriend than anyone else.

She threatened me the day my son got his cast out on. She told me I was harassing her. She has pictures on porn sites, and she even takes some of them. I can tell her with her anorexia. The skin is sagging and gross. She no longer has breasts, and I am hoping one day she will just up and die.

Anorexia takes approximately 20% of the loves that live in that reality. I’m hoping she will eventually succumb to the final outcome, and allow me to take care of the kids. It’s a sad reality to have to weight for my ex-wife to die and there is a serious need for me to leave the state.

My son would hate that since he would subject to the abuse Heidi inflicts on him daily. There is a sad state of affairs when your children hate their mom and wish that they loved with me. The demons at my school and constantly harassing me and scratching me, and putting strange ideas into my head. I keep having this view that Heidi will eventually kill one or both of my children without any remorse. That will be a sad day to bury my kids!

2/4/19 – Thinking About Moving To Austin

There is a point in time where you really need a break from the insanity. My son ran off again yesterday for no reason at all. My daughter is turning into a Histrionic, and I don’t have many friends here in Escondido.

There is a time when healing is more important than now. Heidi is a whore who has pictures on porn sites and she doesn’t seem to care. I know she is a Borderline because having her boyfriend is more important than anything else in the world. She ignores my children and never is home during the week. She has church groups and yoga. Anything to get her to die sooner is welcome in my life.

I know she is anorexic and will die soon, but there is a point in time where the advice of my professional counselor comes in handy. Ben dated a Borderline as well, and finally gave up a great business for healing. Maybe it’s time I leave the state and let Heidi deal with the kids all on her own. I know Chris will drop her like a bomb so he can grab someone else.

I know she is cheating on him, and he is cheating on her. It’s a weird reality that they don’t seem to care. He dates her for money and sex, and she is a Borderline so she doesn’t want to be alone.

At some point in time I need to find peace in this life and serve God somehow. I don’t know when or where, but there is a Triune God and he desires my life for his glory. At some point in time I need to heal and leave this wonderful state for someplace where she cannot get to.

11/20/18 – Heidi is Asking For A Favor

Her parents are in town and they want to see the kids even though it’s not her week. As usual, she has the arrogance and audacity to ask for a favor. It’s like she has no clue that she is interfering with my time with the kids.

She doesn’t care about anyone, but herself. The kids told me she is going to the Grand Canyon this week with Chris. I doubt she will survive the ordeal if she is hiking there. Otherwise, she will get drunk and eventually cave to her anorexia. Either way she is going to get her death either way. No one sees what I see. She is way too thin for her health.

Eventually, she will pass away and I will deal with the wreckage. It’s always me cleaning up her mess. I hope God has a plan for me, otherwise, we will all starve to death. I would have to see my kids die that way. They don’t deserve it. Neither do I.

I may have to move away to survive with the kids. We shall see what God has in store for me. It won’t be easy, but my kids are with it!

10/13/18 – Heidi Goes Off Again

This little girl goes off on me again because I took my son to the carnival at his school. Heidi wasn’t going to take him. She was too busy with her loser boyfriend who works at Lyft to do anything. I told her if she ever did that again I would have her arrested for violating the court order.

She told me she would have me arrested for not picking the kids up on time. I kept my son on school grounds and took him to the carnival. I doubt anyone is going to be upset about it – especially the cops when they laugh at her about the call.

At least I have four more cryotherapy sessions left. That should save me a little money. I did one yesterday. Man it is cold when you start to get a sense of just how cold it gets in there.

They raised the prices to $250 per ten. That changes the monthly cost for me. I still need to find medical and dental insurance. Otherwise if something happens I’m toast.

At least I’m not Heidi. She is angry bitter and mean. I can’t believe Chris stays with her except she pays for everything. He is such a loser to stay with someone for the money.

Even my kids hate her now. I don’t think are many people in this world that care about Heidi anymore. She is so rude, mean, and destructive that no one cares about her anymore. My kids even said that they wished she was dead so that they could be free. That’s the cost of living with a Borderline. You are never free until they are gone.