2/19/18 – More 3040 Drama

One of the members of 3040 contacts me about Tague. She has done this before, and she was generally kind to me when I knew her. So I answer her questions.

Then she sends out an email and people in 3040 are giving her grief over the email. The news reports state that Tague pleaded guilty to two counts of pedophilia. The San Diego website states that there are three counts that he will be sentenced for. Most of the news sources are still stating that he will get 10 to 20 years +/- time served and potential for parole.

Then again anything in 3040 is always drama. I sent her pictures of the San Diego website and let her know that people are angry with Tague and not her. In the end she understood. She is a kind person. I hope her tribe doesn’t give her too much insanity.

That’s the problem with 3040. They always blow up over nonsense. They put adulterers in the center of a ministry and wonder why 9 months later the fifth largest church in San Diego can’t find a Pastor for them.

No one wants to do the job, and lead the island of misfit toys.

The strangest thing is most of the people don’t have kids. At least 85% don’t. The few who do generally leave the kids with parents to party with the group. How sad is that? They could care less about the children. Then again Heidi does the same thing.

My son hates her and doesn’t want to live with her. My daughter doesn’t like her, but loves her because she is “mom.” There does not seem to be much relationship between her and the kids anymore. My daughter can’t even read and Heidi doesn’t seem to care.

How sad for my daughter? If she flunks first grade what will happen to her? She will be overweight, and unliked and called stupid. Two weekends ago she told me she wanted to live with me so that I could teach her to read. Maybe God has a plan to unite all of us again…

2/17/18 – Deconstructing – Tague Is Sentenced

I’ve been thinking about Thursday a lot. Matt is going to get between 10 and 20 years. His family was there and they were crushed, obviously. For a Pastor to do such a thing is vile. To watch his family get crushed is horrific. The woman I was sitting with thought he didn’t get enough. She is probably right, but as a Christian her heart should be more interested in the aftermath then justice.

Christ always asks for mercy, forgiveness, and love – in reverse order. Typical NC3 3040 she held none of these things in her heart.

I’m starting to wonder what am I doing at Westminster. Will I become like a lot of these San Diegan Christians and pretend to be something that isn’t real. Will I do any good in this world down here. I’m not sure anymore. I just hope at some point in time I can do something that matters to someone.

I’m not sure the opportunity will come at my age. I don’t have a retirement. I don’t have a cash flow source. I’m just wondering around trying to figure out what my Father has for me, and nothing seems to be working out for me. Maybe I’m not cut out for this life? I don’t think I’ll ever get remarried as a Pastor. I won’t earn enough to do so. The one person I wanted to date in 3040 won’t even talk to me anymore.

That group is destructive. Maybe that’s why they don’t have a Pastor after 9 months? No one wants the job. The island of misfit toys put an adulterous couple in the center of a ministry and burned it to the ground. I guess that is what should have happened. I wish North Coast Calvary Chapel would fix the problem, but I don’t think Mark or Buz care at all. I think they are tired of the drama and don’t want to fix anything. I’ve reached out to Buz and we’ve talked, but I can tell he isn’t interested in being part of the solution. Too much work and drama.

It’s easier to leave broken things broken then to take the time and energy to fix things.

Sad to see this world this way – even in Christian circles. People wonder why Calvary Chapel is collapsing under its own weight. They don’t see to have enough heart to fix what is broken anymore. People are too old, and uninterested in doing the heavy lifting.

Maybe I will starve to death on this route? Maybe after all of the destruction that has befallen me; my Father taking me home would be a blessing.

I really just need to focus on classes and the couple of returns I have to do. Maybe there is some value in that?