11/6/16 – Heidi Restrained My Son

Today was pretty good for most of the day until the afternoon when my daughter had a meltdown. Typical when she doesn’t sleep and wants tv. 

Afterwards, my son tells me that he was restrained on Tuesday at church group. How much guilt and embarrassment must this kid go through for Heidi’s little group of friends? It’s not like she even follows the precepts of Christianity. Right now she is having relations with one of the members of her church group. It’s the only way she can get a guy because she can’t handle dating in this life. She can’t really handle anything without a guy helping her.

If I could never see her again that would be prefect, but alas that isn’t possible. She would terrorize me with money requests until I was broke. Her punishment for me leaving. I just hope her new guy shows up to my daughter’s party so I can let him know the truth about her.

I’m also thinking of letting the cat out of the bag with her brother. Nothing better than to test the water with the truth. Let’s see how Christian they really are. I’m sure they will still rally around her. They have nothing better to do. Selfish family the lot of them.

Can’t wait until I can get the hell out of her life and protect my children but alas God is the only one that can make that happen.

11/5/16 – Heidi Is Locking The Kids In Their Rooms Again

So I pick up my kids tonight and ask if there are any issues this week since I don’t talk to them much on the weekdays. My daughter says that mom got mad and locked her in my daughter’s room again. All over tv time.

It’s insane that this always goes on over there and there is nothing I can do. It never happens here.

The worst thing that happened was my son taking two doses of guanfacine tonight. 

We talked about getting him a real life not one where he stays at his mom’s house forever, and that means paying attention to pills. He was crying a lot. I wish he wouldn’t but life is only going to get harder in 2017 with a new school and new nanny. I wish I could help more, but it out of my hands and into God’s.

10/16/16 – She Changed The Locks

This is when the shit gets interesting. She changed the locks over the last two weeks. My kids told her that I was snooping through her stuff. Which I was. 

There are several occasions where she writes stuff down then rewrites them in harsher tones. There was also a time when she had written the notes out of chronological order, then rewrites them in chronological order. Always something similar to the truth, but always colored in her favour. Her favorite is she is scared I’m going to hurt her since I have a gun. A gun that had never been fired by the way, nor do I even have ammo for it.

With a borderline everything she says and does is colored by her fear of getting caught and her self loathing. It generally comes out as a projection of lies. They call this a distortion campaign in the psychological community. I am unfortunately the recipient of one from a very smart little bitch. Now it’s time to pay her back.

Tonight I’m going to hyper tag her on every page of this website and change the front page to About. That way every time anyone Google’s her it will eventually come up. It’s time the world knows her insanity.

I know I have a lot of emotional baggage on this site. I know it will hurt a few friends when they read it, but I am willing to lose everything to save these kids. Now that I can’t protect them I need to extract them. Since my son’s psychologist isn’t willing to help it’s time to blow her up in the community.

I’ve done this before and changed my mind, but Harley Quinn’s new persona is a desperate plea for destruction and it’s time to make that happen. I don’t think she realizes that the harlequin was originally a comedic reimaging of the devil. This totally makes sense in her case.

It’s time to be her Joker and see how low I can take her until she gives me custody of the kids. It’s the only way they can be safe. Otherwise there will be no ability for me to protect them when she chokes them, or pulls his hair, or hits them, or locks them in their rooms. When my five year old daughter tries to break her window on the second floor to get out she will eventually die because of it. I don’t want that blood on my hands, and this is my last recourse. Time to let the hounds of hell out to take their sister back home.

10/15/16 – She Tells Me I Screwed Her Over

This is the amazing shit about borderline’s, she actually believes I screwed her over. Taking about her lying about dating at dropping off the kids, and she tells me she is going to be careful because she has been screwed over so much in the past. I am sure this is a clear reference to me as well as Chris and her high school sweetheart. She actually believes that I screwed her over. I tell her she destroyed my life, and right away she says this conversation is over. 

I am not sure if this relates to me moving out, or not giving her the life she thought she deserved. I know she will always be in this make shift hell in this life until she dies. Anyone who cheats, fakes pregnancies and suicides, and says I screwed her over is bat shit crazy!

What I do know is this Harley Quinn persona that she is taking on is not going to do well for her. In on line dating it’s just a statement that you are easy. With the new see through panties I am sure that is where she is headed. She has always used her body and sex to get what she wanted. In the end she never gets what she needs.

I called and texted her last night about the kids today. She never got back to me. I’m sure she had a date, but lied about. She told me she was only go to stay home and work on Sawyer’s Halloween costume. She was gone from the house by 7:30 I’m guessing. I’m guessing on a date. That or she was just radio silent to piss me off. 

Funny how we all still play games at this day and age. In the end she will die rich and alone, or rich and with a leach…

10/14/16 – She’s On Match.com

I caught my ex on Match today. I tried to tell her about dating in this day and age and not sleeping with guys too early. She got pissed when I called her out on dating and being on the site. Funny how she still lies about it. No reason to.

I guess she is embarrassed about it, but she always lied when she dated even when married. I hope she takes things seriously. When she starts to have sex and gets dumped my kids will take the punishment. I still wonder when God is going to help find someone for me. I’m starting to doubt He has any interest in helping me in this area of my life. If that’s true that sucks.

Why does everyone get someone but me? And tomorrow the dog goes back. It will be a very lonely house for me. I guess I should get used to it.

Maybe I should call God out on this subject. At some point I deserve good things in my life too. Why should my ex get good things and not me after all of the horrors she put others through? I know we all deserve second chances, but I don’t get an apology or my money back so has she really changed? I don’t think so. She may be strong enough to date and go on vacation alone, but is she a changed person? I don’t see it. So why should she get dates and a boyfriend, but no one for me?

It doesn’t seem fair, but life seldom is. I hope that one day I will be on the winning side of the unfairness and get the woman I deserve.

9/10/16 – She Goes Off On The Principal

As usual when Hunter has a personal agenda for the night (PTA) all hell breaks loose. My son has a breakdown because he wasn’t prepared for his nanny to do the drop off to my house. So I end up driving over there and he stays with his mom. I get my daughter 1:1. 

My ex tells me that she told him, but I’m sure it was off topic. I get there and she is sitting in the driveway and my son is yelling at her. I get there, give him a hug, and ask if wants to go with me or stay. He wants to stay, so I take my daughter and go. 

So strange to see her pretend to be the peace keeper when I know she did it subconsciously. Anything for drama. Just another day in the life of a Borderline. At some point in time I’ve got to get away from all this insanity. Between Joy and Hunter there is no free time for the good life.

One day I am sure God will help me find a way out, but it will take some time. Or I will learn to ignore the insanity and work around them. I’m sure that is the better choice over walking away. Another wonderful opportunity to learn and grow in this world. How amazing this world can be? At some point I will own this world and walk free of the insanity I’m surrounded by.

If I’m not too busy I may end up going to a single parent Meetup with a couple of the asses that I walked away from several months ago. It’s a dance night. I just need to stay away from one of my old DTF’s. That would set off some issues that would be bad. Scott is still a predator, but he is dating Michelle. Maybe that would be enough for him to leave me alone. If they broke up then he will target me because he’s an ass. Always having to be a douche because he has nothing better to do with his pathetic little life. Always trying to be something he’s not – human.

Then again I may have work to do since I have my daughter. We shall see…

Wow. I just read the email my ex sent to my son’s principal, and needles to say she is in rare a rare form of bitch over my son’s general education mainstreaming. His 3/4 combo class got cancelled due to enrollment issues. He was supposed to go into a 4/5 combo, but the teacher has not started at his school yet. Mind you my ex is on the PAT so she sees these people on a regular basis. Now she is becoming the raving bitch I know her to be. This never looks good for us when she gets involved. She thinks it makes her look good and caring. I knew it makes her (and by extension my son) crazy. Crazy it’s never good with a son with special needs.

I also got four texts from her last night about my son and him calming down and they are registered to walk a 5K for autism today Saturday. I hope it’s early in the morning and cool otherwise it will be a nightmare flute both of them. Can’t change her crazy. What should I expect from a woman who cheats on everyone, fakes pregnancies, fakes suicides, and tells me it was wrong to marry me but right to cheat on me. Love this crazy religious people… Nothing but greed and selfishness!

Glad I’m not a religious nut. Few people every see that side, but I do talk about it a lot. People know but I never force it on others. I always reference my journey never theirs. Show his love from the inside out never the outside in.